Thursday, March 11, 2010

Gratitude Can Change Your Attitude (Marnie)

I would rather puke than listen to one more married person with a husband and 3.5 children tell me I should be grateful that I’m still single. I personally think that these comments should be outlawed. These insensitive individuals should have to pay some huge fine for their hurtful comment or at least spend a few days in jail. Because I didn’t marry their stupid husband or raise their rotten kids! Why should I be grateful to be single because they choose unwisely and created their own mess??

Unfortunately, they are completely right. But not for the reason they say.

I’ve found as I’ve made goals to improve my social life, work on my relationship skills, and even to get married (I’m on my third official goal now!! 2010 is MY YEAR!!), keeping the faith and trusting God has been REALLY tough. Just when I’m doing well, something happens and I seem to lose my footing and just start to fall apart. Sometimes I can stop it, but sometimes I just crash and burn…

We’ve been told to be grateful. I think it’s even a commandment. Well, from experience I know it helps me deal with my singleness – as crazy as that sounds. And remembering to be grateful helps me get out of that low place I find myself in.

Because on paper – discounting my hopes and dreams for a future family being unfulfilled – my life is not all that bad. I have a good stable job that I enjoy most of the time. I have a home and car that runs most of the time – neither are perfect - but they are a lot better than I thought I would have. I was blessed with a great family and parents that don’t give me any guilt trips about not living up to the goal of producing grandchildren for them – the one thing parents desire most when they hit 65 years old. I have great friends that keep track of me as though I am family – while I live far from my family. They have been the consistency a single person needs. Even as most of them have moved on and married, they still keep me a part of their life. And for some strange reason, they still want to hear my horrible, horror stories from my dating experiences. Go figure.

I think remembering all these things helps keep me positive about my future. Why? Because when you look at your life – really look at it – God blesses you so much. But you HAVE to recognize it. If you don’t see it, you can’t feel that love from God, which is so essential in dealing with the stresses of earthly existence. When I do take the time to realize how much I have and how much God has been a part of my life and blessed me, I am truly humbled and realize that focusing on what I don't have is not the point of it all and that it only makes me miserable.

Well, what if you don’t have a great job, or you are in debt up to your ears, live your life the very best you can every single day, and you are STILL unmarried? That seems even MORE unfair. But I can PROMISE you that if you examine your life, you’ll see how God watches out for you every day – how he helps you. Sometimes a whole lot in one day. It’s funny how quick we are to say a good thing is from luck or even from our own doing. We are very self-centered that way. (At least I know I am.) But if we take the time every day to recognize how God is in our life, we will appreciate everything so much more and will find that the void we feel – the lack of a husband and our children – won’t hurt as much. We’ll feel more love from God and will realize that he cares about every aspect of our being. And that he understands our pain and loneliness. And that he has a very special plan for us. Sure, we may not like our plan – or at least this part of the plan – but it is our own and it’s perfect for our progression.

Enjoying the journey is the hardest thing in the world for me - especially when the journey isn't what I planned. But appreciating what you have and recognizing the hand of God in your life while you go through the hard journey makes it a lot easier.

Pres. Henry B. Eyring tells of how he began a long time ago to write in his journey every single day about how God had a hand in his life and blessed him and his family. It changed everything for him. Well, I’m terrible at journals – but I’m going to do a 30 day experiment. I’m going to do what President Eyring did. I’m going to record every night how God helped me that day. Even if it’s that he gave me several green lights that got me to work on time when I was running late. My hope is that it will help keep me more grounded and help me give credit where credit is due. And most especially, help me find that happiness that only comes from feeling true gratitude for my life.


Anonymous said...

Really, adult, 30-ish year old women in a modern society in 2010 still think like you gals do?

Seriously? to say this while respecting your have been lied to and left hanging because of it.

Wake up.

Marnie said...

Harassed on our blog for our beliefs! Why, we have arrived ladies! Anonymous, thank you for worrying so much about me and my fellow bloggers. I'm not sure what it is that is so offensive about what we talk about or believe. I can only speak for myself on this, but the truth is: I know the truth. And your self-righteous "wake up because it's 2010" stuff, doesn't fly with me! You can't ridicule me in to thinking your narrow-minded path or even feeling guilty for how I feel and what I know to be true. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life - like you like to tell others as evident by this comment. But I am going to tell you that I know who I am, why I'm here and where I'm going. So, honey, you'd better find a different crowd to try to convert, because I see right through you!

Betty Grace said...

I'm not sure what anonymous is referred to. Seems like you have some pretty healthy beliefs. Learning to be grateful for what you have and not focusing on what you don't have is a good practice no matter what your religious affiliation. It applies to everyone. None of us have ended up with the exact life we planned. We all need to be reminded to see the positive and not focus on what we want but don't have.

Anonymous can take a lesson. Glad s(he) is reading the blog. Hopefully, some of your desires to improve your attitude will rub off!

Chas Hathaway said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm married with three kids and I love it!


Okay, sorry. I'm sure that doesn't help at ALL.

You're totally right. I've heard it said that if you're an unhappy single person, you will be an unhappy married person. If that's true - and I believe it is, then those who say "you should be happy that you're single, because life with kids is ROUGH!" were probably quite miserable when they were single, too.

Plus, don't those people realize that it's never good practice to listen to the advice of someone who is miserable with their lot?

The fact is, we all have rough times, and we all have challenges that stretch us to our emotional and spiritual limits. That's why it's so great to hear messages like yours that help us remember our blessings and how great life is, whatever our stage in life.

Good post. Thanks!


NewLDS said...

Hi! I love your blog. I just started one of my own!

Rebecca said...

What a random comment from anon. :)

To what your blog said, I completely agree that if we are looking at what we don't have, we miss what the Lord has blessed us with. It's not about getting married. Anyone can get married. It's about marrying the right person in the right place at the right time by the right authority. And until then, let's celebrate our current life. Women are that they might have joy!! :)