Excuse me for sharing this. I know I'm not a "Single Mormon Girl" anymore and probably shouldn't be posting here, but I have to say I still love this blog and love all the posts and comments and I can't resist just sharing a few more thoughts that come to me in relation to my "Leah" identity. I love being married, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I still identify better with my single friends than I do my new set of peers. In fact, the first month after being married if I saw a woman who was like myself, but still single, I felt guilty for having gotten married. Looking at her just made me think she "deserved" it more than I did - whatever that means. I found myself in elevators with single women and I wanted to tell them I really was just like them only a month or so before - it was like I felt I had betrayed my sisterhood or something weird. One time in the temple, when interacting with one of the workers who was a single woman, I found myself trying to hide my ring. I was even tempted to give her my maiden name. I think (hope) I'm getting over some of those feelings, but it sure is a process. Okay, maybe I need to create my own new blog "Confessions of a Recently Married Mormon Girl." I'll stop and get on with the original thought that motivated me to post on here.
What I wanted to share was an interesting idea presented by a friend of mine on the topic of dating and striving toward marriage. She was around 40 and single and living a full life, but frustrated with her prospects. One day the thought occurred to her that if she didn't get married in this life, when she got to the other side, God wasn't going to say, "Here's your Son of Helaman" (or whatever), instead He would say, "All right, you better get dating, you still need to find a husband." The thought of continuing that same goal in the next life was painful to her and she figured she would rather complete it now than have to do it later. That thought never occurred to me, but you know, it sounded true when she said it.
I visit teach an older woman who was never married and she is determined to never do so in this life. She says she's too set in her ways and would have to compromise too much to marry now. She even sleeps in a twin sized bed. She expects to be wife number two or something in the next life. I think she has the attitude that she'll just be magically given a husband when she dies and life will be easy or something. I don't know but now I'm interested in asking her more about what she expects the next phase of eternal life will be like.
All I know is that there are a lot of lessons to be learned as a single woman while playing the dating game. In truth it's all about getting to know yourself better, work on your weaknesses, and in the process strengthen your relationship with God while learning to love as He does. It's not easy.