Seeing a relationship end at my age is so much more complicated than it was when I was in my 20s. Yes, I miss him terribly and I'm confused and hurt and all those familiar emotions that I felt when guys would break up with me over a decade ago. But my hurt is now compounded by a fear that I might not meet many more suitable men. After all, it took quite a long time to find the one who left me last week...and it's not like I have a whole lot of options where I live, unless I'm willing to go to bars.
Which I'm not.
I need more time to process and heal from this, but I want to offer up this tiny piece of hope: in the past week, I have felt God's love for me more acutely than ever before in my life. As friends learned the news, they prayed for me, and I felt their prayers. And even though every night I've been on my knees, sobbing, my heart feels peace. I have no idea how this summer fits into God's plan for me (and I can't try to make sense of it now, because the first place I end up on that train of thought is Bitterville) so for now, I focus on my career that I love, my family that I love, and my God that I love.
After all, they all love me more than he did.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry! Unfortunately this is too common of a story. What is it going to take for the men of the church (who should be the very best men on the earth) to wake up, start listening to the Prophet and the apostles and go out there and get themselves a good girl? It's hard to make sense out of it b/c it doesn't make sense. Hold on to those who love you and those who appreciate you sharing your story. It's nice not to know we're not alone.
I'm so sorry.l Breakups can be devestating.
i Love your blog i just found myself starting a blog about the single life in a singles ward. www.singleswardcs.blogspot.com. i love that we can relate with each other thank you for your stories.
blissfully single
Post a Comment