Taking Control (Bridget)

This weekend I took my fate into my own hands. I was sitting here doing a paper for one of my psychology courses. I had talked to a guy that I had been emailing for a while from online. We hadn't met yet. We talked about what we were doing later that evening. Both he and I did not have plans. I thought to myself, this would be a perfect time for him to suggest we meet. He didn't. I, being a traditional sort of girl did not suggest we get together...ok it could be because I am chicken...but whatever. We hung up and I went on with my afternoon of finishing my paper. About six I got restless. My roommates were gone. The house was empty and it was a Saturday night, almost a transgression to be sitting home...a vital 37 year old single woman in the happening state of California. I had also talked to GSE earlier that day and thought, wow that would be super cool if he could come over to watch a movie....we'd have the t.v. all to ourselves...i then went about doing something that I have come to know as a move that just really seems on the surface as if I am making a move, when in reality not so much..i called his home phone, in which empirical evidence has shown in the past, he doesn't answer much. I told myself if he answered then I would ask him over, if he didn't I wouldn't and I wasn't going to leave a message. Well GSE didn't answer. I sat there looking at my cell phone..ok ....lets think about this...girl home alone on a Saturday....know boy from internet is also home alone on Saturday....should girl call him and point out the obvious...why don't we get together and see if there is any potential to go onto the next step. Ok, here goes...dialing...beep beep beep...boy answers. Girl says, thought it would be a great night to meet perhaps for dessert later...boy was a little taken aback but said yes. Boy and girl enjoy seasonal pumpkin cheesecake at Cheesecake Factory....sparks flying? no, not for girl...but boy has called three times since...girl is proud of herself for taking her life into her own hands...much better than staying home when restless...girl looking forward to next boy and next piece of cheesecake.

Romantic Entrepreneur (Leah)

I decided last week to work on my skills as a "Romantic Entrepreneur." Or in other words, "Give a Guy a Chance." I went out with a guy a couple weeks ago. It was nice enough. He's nice enough. There were no real sparks but there was no revulsion. He tried to ask me out again but I was busy, so last week I was debating if I should call it dead or if I should invite him to something to try to keep it going. Having just gotten over (or am I still trying to get over?) Phil it's hard to think it's worth it giving another guy a chance. Basically, my thought process was, "The last one really hurt and never resulted in anything. This one may or may not result in anything but there really aren't any huge sparks, this is a good time to let it fizzle, I can avoid any real pain, and I don't have to worry about causing him pain later. Phils never work out so why even go there with this one it would just be a huge waste of time...." I know - it wasn't the most rational thought process, but I think many of you can relate to my hesitation. Then later that day I was counseled to be a "Romantic Entrepreneur" and be open to dating. The timing of the advice was just what I needed so that evening I called the guy and invited him to something. We went out on the fourth, it was fun. It wasn't the greatest date ever and there weren't suddenly sparks, but it was comfortable and I was reminded that he's a good man. I also remembered some sage advice I received about a month ago. My friend told me that I love freely and will probably have no problem loving a Phil or a permanent Phil (husband) so in my dating I shouldn't worry so much how much I like the guy or feel for the guy because I can easily and will easily develop the necessary feelings. What I need to watch for is how well the guy can love me. I haven't quite figured out how to apply this advice. But in the case of this new Phil I've decided it means I'll keep open to him - keep giving him a chance - and not worry about the lack of sparks I feel for now - the sparks will come - no doubt about it. I just have to wait to see if he feels any.

Hmm, that sounds like a lot of rambling on my part. Many apologies if you got nothing out of it.