Sunday, July 6, 2008

Romantic Entrepreneur (Leah)

I decided last week to work on my skills as a "Romantic Entrepreneur." Or in other words, "Give a Guy a Chance." I went out with a guy a couple weeks ago. It was nice enough. He's nice enough. There were no real sparks but there was no revulsion. He tried to ask me out again but I was busy, so last week I was debating if I should call it dead or if I should invite him to something to try to keep it going. Having just gotten over (or am I still trying to get over?) Phil it's hard to think it's worth it giving another guy a chance. Basically, my thought process was, "The last one really hurt and never resulted in anything. This one may or may not result in anything but there really aren't any huge sparks, this is a good time to let it fizzle, I can avoid any real pain, and I don't have to worry about causing him pain later. Phils never work out so why even go there with this one it would just be a huge waste of time...." I know - it wasn't the most rational thought process, but I think many of you can relate to my hesitation. Then later that day I was counseled to be a "Romantic Entrepreneur" and be open to dating. The timing of the advice was just what I needed so that evening I called the guy and invited him to something. We went out on the fourth, it was fun. It wasn't the greatest date ever and there weren't suddenly sparks, but it was comfortable and I was reminded that he's a good man. I also remembered some sage advice I received about a month ago. My friend told me that I love freely and will probably have no problem loving a Phil or a permanent Phil (husband) so in my dating I shouldn't worry so much how much I like the guy or feel for the guy because I can easily and will easily develop the necessary feelings. What I need to watch for is how well the guy can love me. I haven't quite figured out how to apply this advice. But in the case of this new Phil I've decided it means I'll keep open to him - keep giving him a chance - and not worry about the lack of sparks I feel for now - the sparks will come - no doubt about it. I just have to wait to see if he feels any.

Hmm, that sounds like a lot of rambling on my part. Many apologies if you got nothing out of it.


Kris said...

that is a gift- to be open. I love that about you! Like the list too. thanks for sharing.

Bridget- we're waiting for your 10!

Amander said...

Being open is a good thing. I liked the advice about watching how "the guy" can love me - I've had some interesting issues with that in the past.

Thanks for the insight girls - keep up the good blog work!

marcia said...

it's marcia...writing from Peru! This sounds like me and Clue when we first started dating. Comfortable, but no sparks and this went on for 2 months. Now things are great! So if you feel the new guy could love you, give it a chance!