Sunday, January 18, 2009

Expectations (Leah)

Sometimes you start out a relationship with a person because he SEEMs to be a pretty good option. From what little you know of him there’s no reason not to get to know him better. As you do get to know him you are impressed with little things. Stuff comes up, though, that makes you wonder and ask yourself what it could mean for the future. Thinking about the future is inevitable – the next day, the next date, the next week, then next month, the next year – you can’t help but ask yourself how your relationship with this person is going to affect your future. I know some of the debates I’ve had relate to my fears about the relationship NOT working out as much as my fears of it working out. I worry about the pain and awkwardness of trying to “just be friends.” Lately, though, I’ve tried really hard to not worry about any of it. I’ve focused a lot more on just the moment and being present in the moment. One of the things I’ve discovered is that the moment I’m in is ALWAYS better than anything I’d have anticipated. Of course I’ve fallen back on old habits of expecting and anticipating something exciting and fun, but when that moment comes I’m a bit disappointed because it never matches my expectations. So I’m again reminded to just live in the moment and be grateful for what happens as it goes. I just have to share that New Phil continually surprises me, as each moment with him brings new joy that I never expected. Dating him has been a real blessing in my life.

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