Monday, February 9, 2009

Love Languages (Leah)

I just tried writing something for work. It got lost in a careless computer button pushing error. I tried to rewrite it and came up dry. So, instead, I’ll try to post something on the blog!
I’ve recently been discussing the challenges of dating with a friend whose boyfriend hates gift giving and thus hates holidays. As a gift giver herself, she’s extremely sad about this upcoming weekend. In fact, I bet she’s convinced her relationship won’t last past Saturday. I can’t blame her. Every time I try to think of “tomorrow” I can easily scare myself. I keep focusing just on today. In her case, though, it seems like some serious consideration of the love languages is called for.
Have we all read it? I think it’s been around for awhile. I read it years ago – three or four Phils ago, actually. It’s taken me awhile to figure out my love languages. I’m pretty sure mine is quality time. I love it when a friend calls or visits and just spends time catching up hearing all my woes. I am also big of physical touch, but I’ve learned the hard way over the years that touch doesn’t always equal love like I thought it did. Gift giving, my friend’s love language, is not spoken by her boyfriend, thus giving her a bit of a challenge in truly expressing her love, or feeling loved. Gifts make me happy, but only when it seems like a gift that took time and attention, and the love is felt in the exchanging of gifts. Words of affirmation may be a big one for me. All I know is that in the years I’ve been dating I rarely hear them – I wonder if it’s just not a guy thing. When Phil expresses himself in words, like that, though, I feel like I’m flying. I know that all love languages speak to us, but if you have a primary one that your significant other is not especially talented in expressing then you need to be aware that it’s time for you to learn a foreign language. I really do believe the languages can be learned – both in giving and receiving. Wouldn’t true love be shown if I managed to express love in a way that means a lot to Phil, even if it doesn’t come terribly naturally for me? Now if I can only figure out with more confidence what his love language is. I guess I better ask more questions – do some finding out!

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