Hope Springs Eternal...

No matter how hard I try to squash it down it's there. No matter how many times I swear - NEVER AGAIN! it's there. No matter how many times I tell myself let it go - have faith or it's never going to happen move on and do your own thing - it's there.

Sunshiney, bright and effervescent, send you into an instant diabetic coma with its rich sweetness, freaking hope.

I have once again signed up on one of those "sites." Don't judge - you know the ones and I'm willing to bet at least 90% of you have tried it even if only 20% of us will admit it.

So the profile has been up for a few days and has managed to catch the eye of one particular, seemingly sweet fellow who wrote me quite possibly the sweetest, most flattering note I've ever received from one of these would be suitors and darn it all to heck (I've Pollyanna'd what I'd really like to say...) I feel that feeling again. Hope!

But, if I'm completely honest it's not just hope - it's more like this...

"I shouldn't even bother. Yes he's sweet to have reached out and flattered me in this way, and yes I am looking and he's quite cute and seems to be all good things and have his life together but you're almost at the point where you can give up and not want to off yourself...
...but maybe this time it will be different. Maybe he's everything he says it is and my wait is finally over. I pause to gather my strength before really letting my imagination run away...

This is where it takes off and gets interesting...

"We'll have an outdoor wedding and a yellow house and 2 dogs and 3 kids and we'll take our family vacations in September and I wonder what side of the bed I want and I hope there's 2 closets in the master bedroom and..."

Yeah. Have you ever wanted to step out of your body and slap your own face?