Friday, August 7, 2009
Lately people have been coming to me for advice about dating. Phil and I have been dating a decent amount of time and enjoying every bit of it, but to the average female friend I've become a poster child for patience. Maybe so - I would have never said so. One thing I realized when trying to help them out is that I'm not the only one in this relationship that's making it successful. I know - hello - it always takes two to tango. My point is, I think if things aren't going well in a relationship it also takes two. I'm learning that you just keep going forward until the two of you can't go forward. If that stopping point happens before marriage you likely go your separate ways. If it occurs after marriage then you get counseling or at least do some serious talking and praying together. So I think patience is just being able to enjoy and appreciate the moment you are in. The trick is to want to strive for more while also being happy with what you have. I think that's a lot like what we have to do at every stage of the search - still strive to get married while not being miserable with where you are. Tough. I find that it's easy to be hard on yourself, critical, and demanding. At least some of the women I've talked to (and I can relate) feel like if things aren't going right then I must be doing something wrong. Last Sunday I realized that it's not good to be critical of yourself, but you also can't be afraid to advise yourself. That way you are striving to be better but not falling into Satan's trap of discouragement. I once received a priesthood blessing and was told to have charity for myself and others. That was real turning point for me. I need to have patience for myself as much as I do for Phil. Isn't the whole gospel plan about learning charity period? Not just for others. Well, anyway, I just wanted to share those thoughts. I'm truly blessed with good people in my life, but I'm especially blessed to have a loving Father in Heaven who is patient with me.