Age Is Sometimes More Than A Number. (Anne)

First of all, congratulations to Stella!

I’ve been in a slump. I lack the words to describe what work has been like for me this past month, other than to say this: this month has once again proven to me that fiction is a sorry replacement for real life. I cannot imagine someone creating the situations I’ve endured recently.

And as for the dating, well, it’s not happening. Several reasons for that…

1. I live in the middle of nowhere. 
2. Still struggling with memories of the boy. Just the other night he popped into my dream, and as I started to wake up and realize it was a dream and not reality, I willed myself back to sleep so I wouldn’t have to remember what it felt like not talking to him. Grrr.
3. I am back in the online dating world, which for me means the only men expressing interest in me are 13-18 years older than me.

It is this last point I’d like to address today...and I’ll admit it: I. Am. Ageist.

I’m not yet 40 (though it’s barreling toward me, and fast) and if a man has grandchildren, I’m having a really tough time giving him a second look. Vanity, yes. Shallow, absolutely. But I simply am not ready to be “grandpa’s special friend” or “Nana.” Again, I’M NOT EVEN 40 YET.

And occasionally I like to rail about LDS men wanting young and fresh BYU grads (or not even grads...one profile I read noted in his desired mate: college sophomore), but as I had dinner with a friend last week, a friend who is not LDS, and we caught up on life, I realized this is not just an LDS phenomenon. Between the two of us we knew three men my age, each dating girls between 20 and 23. 

So what is it about younger girls? Is it the biological imperative to “sow oats” in more fertile places? Is it the lack of baggage that often accompanies younger girls? Is it that their bodies haven’t given way to gravity yet? Is it a “Peter Pan” mentality of the men my age?

I’m really not intending to sound shrill or accusatory, just genuinely curious: am I the only not-yet-40-year-old being pursued by the 50-65 year-old crowd? And am I being too picky in not returning their advances? Or should I embrace the grandmother moniker at 39?

Meet Penelope

Hello readers!
We have another guest post from Penelope I'd like to share with you:

Hello new friends, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm in my mid-30's like many here. I recently went to an event with speed-dating where a man asked me if I had been married before, I replied no. He asked me if I had kids, and I said no. He asked me if I had a cat or dog. I said nope. I said, well I have 2 plants that I have managed to keep alive. He was silent and just blinked. I don't think he knew what to say. See he was a single dad to 4 with part time custody and I'm sure he was thinking, wow this won't be a good match. Luckily I wasn't too invested in the relationship to be offended that he didn't "pick me."

As for my blog name, Penelope, I took it from a movie I watched recently. Yes, I watch odd movies on Netflix. But the idea behind the movie and Penelope fits me. Penelope has a physical deformity as a result of a family curse. Her mom hides her away because people were trying to get pictures of how horrible Penelope looked. Eventually Penelope's parents decide to try to get her married off because part of the curse was that she had to marry "one of her own," someone rich and powerful who would still love her despite her odd looks. After many rejections, she runs off on her own and allows people see her for who she really is. Interestingly, she realizes that people are ok with her, despite her mother's warnings that people will reject her. She even is able to...get married....of all things, despite looking bizarre because she is just herself. Recently, I feel like I've hit the stage of being ok with myself despite being told I'm not pretty enough to get married. If others want to say I'm not pretty enough, that's ok but I'm not going to hide myself anymore. So Penelope I have become! :)

I also have had my share of the dating woes and they are still on-going. I hope that I can share some of them here and get feedback with comments, questions or thoughts. I originally came to this blog a long time ago because I felt a kindred spirit here to know that I wasn't alone in my single status and the experiences I was having., So I hope I can do that for other sisters as well.