Safe (Leah)

In my history of dating I think it's safe to say I'm often attracted to men that are pretty safe in their walls of self defense. Safe in the sense that they aren't risk takers. They are mild mannered and very easy going, kind and generous, but risk takers - not exactly. Trouble is I tend to be a bit impatient and impetuous. I take risks - not because I'm brave, as much as because I'm careless. I don't necessarily "throw myself at them" but I do fully invest my heart in the relationship and hope for the best and try to push them forward, probably faster than is wise. They eventually call uncle and break up with me. I am like a teenager - a false sense of being indestructible. You'd think that after 30+ years and a handful of heartbreaks I'd be more careful, but no. I seem to have learned that heartbreaks don't kill. Maybe I just forget. This time around, though, I think I'm being much more careful. I'm just curious, though, if my attraction to the "safe" guys is my way of being safe as well. Probably. Then I'm not the scared one, he is. I'm not the slow indecisive one, he is. When I push and he breaks it off then it's his fault, not mine. I like my new "careful" style. I like taking this one slow. I like feeling safe. (Don't tell - I'm starting to get a bit impatient, though!)