Persistence and Patience (Marnie)

I’ve just finished reading, If I’m so Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? By Susan Page. She has a lot of insightful information in that book! Some of it really hit home and I’ll go into some of the issues I identified with in later posts. But one of the principles she talked about is Persistence and Patience. She says the key to getting married is really to keep dating and not give up. Don’t burn yourself out, but just keep trying and trying. Well, easier said than done!

These last few months have been about me working on my mantra and actually living it. The gist of it is that I believe I can meet some great “potentials” and date them. That means not only repeating this mantra several times each day, but living it. I’ve gone beyond my normal comfort zone of attending parties (several on New Years eve alone!!) and functions where I can meet the kind of guys I want to date. I’ve flirted, done the security guard stare, and tried to be as open an approachable as possible. It’s a lot of work and I’ve had my moments of awkwardness and disappointment. But I have had some success. I even went out with a couple of guys – even one that I really thought there was a real possibility.

But unfortunately, it didn’t turn out that way. It’s sad because I really thought there could be something there.

I kinda feel like I’ve been through a bushel of overripe apples – studied, examined and found the best apple that looked the tastiest out of all of them, took a bite and realized it had lost all of it’s flavor. It was such a promising apple!! And now after a whole bushel, not one apple that fits my needs. I feel so deflated from the last apple that I can’t help be think discouraging thoughts such as, “really? This is the best there is out there?” Or, “What are the chances that I find a guy that has what I’m looking for AND is emotionally ready for a long-term commitment? Or even wants me back?? Is that even possible???”

It seems so futile. And I just want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away because the emotional investment and risk taking to just meet guys and try to encourage them to ask you out leaves you in all sorts of vulnerable positions and completely drained. Who wants to do THAT again? Especially when the options can look so bleak at times.

Well, I’m not into self-pitying for too long. I believe this book. Not because it has some magic answer but that it speaks truth. Statistically speaking, the more you get yourself out there and take risks, the sooner you will stumble into the right guy that is ready for something real and meaningful (aka marriage).

So until I find some new good possibilities and find who I’m looking for I’m going to keep repeating over in my head, “persistence and patience, persistence and patience, persistence and patience, persistence and patience, persistence and patience, persistence and patience, persistence and patience, persistence and patience.”

Hey, I may even cross-stitch it!!

Persistence (Leah)

Okay, two posts in one day, that means I get to take a break from posting for awhile! :) Actually this is a thought I had last Sunday and it came up again. In church there was a talk about persistence and perseverance. The speaker mentioned that we tend to persist in certain behaviors that are probably best repented of. Then in a conversation with a friend today I heard about another friend that seems to persist in dating a guy that will never change. It reminded me of my own drawn out relationship with last year's Phil. At what point do you call it done? My girl friend mentioned that it might be best to decide in advance (before you've really fallen) how long you'll continue to invest. Like the stock market - at what point do you say your investment is just losing more than it'll ever be worth? You tend to hold out hoping the price will go up - in a relationship you continue hoping the guy will commit - or whatever. You don't want to put time lines or false expectations - but you also don't want to hold on to a sinking ship. We decided that with every guy it's different and maybe depending on where you are in life the timing will be different. Truthfully, I guess this is where prayer is a must. You have to feel like you're really focusing and following God's plan for you - whether or not it includes that guy and in what way it might include him. Sorry, I'm not sure I offered much insight or hope - just a bit of confusion - and this after my last post about looking towards the clear path instead of the messy wreck. Luckily my current Phil is not a mess, yet. Just wondering if I should set some parameters for myself before I get too far in - you know, while it's still clear.