New Years Eve proves to be one of the most stressful nights to plan in my life. Why do New Years plans seem to symbolize the validity of one's life? I have countless times had the conversation with friends, what are you doing for New Years? It begins there..around December 1st really. I can see the maniacal desire for a perfect fantasy new years relected in my and my girlfriend's eyes. The kind of new years in which there is a fun party where a good friend just happens to have a cousin that you've never met before and looks a whole lot like(insert gorgeous male leading man actor here, mine would be someone like John Cusack or Colin Firth)He is smitten with me/her and after hours of fun flirtation and getting to know eachother, the midnight hour strikes, and that perfect New years kiss happens, symbolizing the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Or there is the fantasy that is in my head that I borrow from When Harry Met Sally, since I have a Harry in my life, and have for years, the fantasy that he shows up at the party I am at and confesses that he can't live without me..again ending in the perfect New years Kiss..symbolizing the beginning of the step towards romance in our long time friendship. Along with the maniacal desire, there is an extraordinary pressure to find something that will live up to all of the hope and excitement we have for the next year.
These days, if there is a great opportunity that presents itself, and it is something that I truly want to do, then I will go out for New Years. It will be a "Go Out" New Years. If there is nothing that presents itself, there will be a "Stay In" New Years, in which there is much reflection and wearing of pajamas. Both have their place. I think with all of the years of self imposed pressure to squeeze all the hope and fun in one night, I now have no desire to "force" New Years, cuz it always turns out below expectations..because really what could live up to such high standards. I have finally learned to spread the desire to have fun and have excitement through out the year...and not only one night...cuz what girl needs that kind of pressure.
Showing posts with label New Year's Eve. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Year's Eve. Show all posts
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It's All About the Self-Talk (Marnie)
This Christmas season, I decided to visit some older sisters that I used to be in charge of when I was in my old family ward. I really grew to love and care about them. And they always made me feel better when I visited them.
I baked some goodies and made the deliveries on a Sunday early this December. It was fabulous to see them! They really appreciated the visit and goodies. I knew they would ask about my new ward and social life because that was why I left the family ward - to inject my social life with some new possibilities.
Knowing they would ask about my social life, I had my speech ready. It usually went something like this:
Older sister: So how is the singles ward?
Me: Oh, great! I’m meeting some really wonderful people!
Older sister: You dating anyone? (the older folks always get to the point).
Me: Not right now – I dated a guy for a few months but it didn’t work out (I mention that so they know I’m trying and succeeding in some respects).
Older sister: Oh, that’s too bad. [Silence.]
That’s when I give my current mantra. I don’t want them to worry about me and I don’t want their pity, so in 8 different visits I said, “but January is a new year and I feel good about what’s coming up! Lot’s of new opportunities! And I will find me someone new to date! I can feel it!”
Now at first it was just something I made up. But now, after saying it out loud 8 times, even I believe it! All of them each got excited for me when I said it – instead of giving the pity look – and they all reiterated that I could do it! That really felt empowering!
New Years is around that corner. I hate that holiday too – along with my fellow bloggers – but it’s a new opportunity to work on some skills with meeting people. Yep, I’m going to a big singles dance that most likely will have a great assortment of all sorts of men – the good, the bad and the ugly – hopefully more good than bad. And I am bound and determined to meet lots of people, smile big and give my “security guard” stare when I can.
When I first heard about mantras I thought it was silly, but I don’t believe that anymore. You become what you hear yourself say – especially when you are talking about yourself. If it’s negative, it will affect you negatively. If it’s positive, it will affect you positively! And I think that’s why we’ve been told to have faith and hope by the Almighty. Talking about those things helps us keep positive. And I know for a fact when I am trying hard to be positive, I do better. I’m happier and more appreciative of my life. And I smile more. And when I smile more, I tend to be nicer and friendlier. And that helps my life socially as well as spiritually.
So my challenge to any that dare, try a POSITIVE mantra for a month! Say it three times every morning for a month. Mine is: "I am open to relationships. Good things are up ahead for me and in January 2009, I will meet many good “potentials” and find a great guy to date and have a relationship with."
I’ll let you know how it goes…
I baked some goodies and made the deliveries on a Sunday early this December. It was fabulous to see them! They really appreciated the visit and goodies. I knew they would ask about my new ward and social life because that was why I left the family ward - to inject my social life with some new possibilities.
Knowing they would ask about my social life, I had my speech ready. It usually went something like this:
Older sister: So how is the singles ward?
Me: Oh, great! I’m meeting some really wonderful people!
Older sister: You dating anyone? (the older folks always get to the point).
Me: Not right now – I dated a guy for a few months but it didn’t work out (I mention that so they know I’m trying and succeeding in some respects).
Older sister: Oh, that’s too bad. [Silence.]
That’s when I give my current mantra. I don’t want them to worry about me and I don’t want their pity, so in 8 different visits I said, “but January is a new year and I feel good about what’s coming up! Lot’s of new opportunities! And I will find me someone new to date! I can feel it!”
Now at first it was just something I made up. But now, after saying it out loud 8 times, even I believe it! All of them each got excited for me when I said it – instead of giving the pity look – and they all reiterated that I could do it! That really felt empowering!
New Years is around that corner. I hate that holiday too – along with my fellow bloggers – but it’s a new opportunity to work on some skills with meeting people. Yep, I’m going to a big singles dance that most likely will have a great assortment of all sorts of men – the good, the bad and the ugly – hopefully more good than bad. And I am bound and determined to meet lots of people, smile big and give my “security guard” stare when I can.
When I first heard about mantras I thought it was silly, but I don’t believe that anymore. You become what you hear yourself say – especially when you are talking about yourself. If it’s negative, it will affect you negatively. If it’s positive, it will affect you positively! And I think that’s why we’ve been told to have faith and hope by the Almighty. Talking about those things helps us keep positive. And I know for a fact when I am trying hard to be positive, I do better. I’m happier and more appreciative of my life. And I smile more. And when I smile more, I tend to be nicer and friendlier. And that helps my life socially as well as spiritually.
So my challenge to any that dare, try a POSITIVE mantra for a month! Say it three times every morning for a month. Mine is: "I am open to relationships. Good things are up ahead for me and in January 2009, I will meet many good “potentials” and find a great guy to date and have a relationship with."
I’ll let you know how it goes…
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