Taking Control (Leah)

I know that one of the concerns many of my girl friends have about dating is the aspect of control - or "who's got hand," as we sometimes say. As women we often feel at a disadvantage because of the traditional approach to dating where the woman has to wait for the guy to ask her out. We all know it's not quite as simple as that, but in our times of frustration we may over simplify it by blaming the man. As for "hand" I know women often try to keep it by putting a guy off just enough to keep him wanting - there are all kinds of theories and strategies related to that. Really I'm terrible at it all. I lack the grace of subtlety required to manage "hand" and I lack the confidence to even know if I have it or not. I know, however, that too many people tend to blame everything else (the world, the church, the friends, the exes, the family, whatever) for their lack of a relationship. Today I came across a quote, though, that fully expresses my attitude about that perspective. Forgive me if I get it a bit wrong: "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." I really believe it is every one's responsibility to find their own happiness, whether in a relationship or not, but stop finding blame outside of yourself.