Thursday, November 20, 2008
Game Playing (Leah)
Last night I visited with a friend who really likes a guy I'll call Joey. She's gone out with him for about four months, with off and on intensity. She'd like to be exclusive and they've talked about it, but he wants to date other people. (HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HEAR THIS?) Sorry, but that seems to be the rule for guys our age these days. Anyway, the interesting thing is that she really sees some great things in Joey. She thinks the world of him. She sees a side to him that most people don't. Isn't that how it always is when we fall in love? I know Joey, I think he's a good guy, but certainly not someone I'd ever want to get involved with - he has baggage you might say. Anyway, another girl-friend of mine had the opportunity recently to go out with Joey. She didn't not look forward to the date and had further proof after the date that she had no interest in him at all. His baggage was plenty apparent to her. But my friend from last night, she can see all that baggage but she also sees beyond it. In fact, she mentioned that she wishes he could show his truer self more often in public instead of the side that repels so many women. What just kills me about this situation is how lucky stinkin' Joey is to have my friend be able to see his full being and love him for it all. Why oh why does he insist on dating other women who would really rather not spend any time with him? He's only hurting himself. Why does he not see it? Why are we so blind in our own dating situations? I have no solutions, just frustration. Sorry. I told the friend last night she needs to make a concious effort to look elsewhere and WANT to date other men - for her sanity, as backup, and as part of the game. He apparently gives her a lot more attention when she gives him distance. He's classic "game" material. Anyway, I quoted her some of the wisdom I've been learning - how she needs to have faith that he will become the good man she deserves or some other man who does meet her needs will come into her life. She should not settle for the games this guy is playing - that automatically lessens his worth.