So I’ve been absent for awhile…had a little health issue that left me under the weather for several weeks. So my interaction with “potentials” has been really limited. When you have a goal to “get out there,” it leaves you feeling a little down when you can’t make any real efforts. But I’m on the mend, so watch out potentials!! I’m coming!!
Enough of the pep talk to myself…
I went to a Singles Conference this last spring and participated in the very popular “speed dating” activity. Personally, I’m an advocate of speed dating! I think it’s a great way to force a meeting, a conversation, and a very comfortable environment to exchange contact information if it desired on BOTH ends of the conversation. The only draw back is that you must have a good basis of quality individuals participating – or you walk away from the experience more hopeless about ever meeting someone you could ever see yourself having at least a 20 minute conversation with and not wanting to poke your eyes out from the pain of it.
Ok, that’s a little dramatic but that’s my gut feeling….
I’ve done this speed dating thing a couple times now and haven’t had a whole lot of success after 10 interactions each time. But this last time had one potential that I wasn’t absolutely overjoyed with, but I thought he was normal enough to maybe enjoy an evening out together.
At this particular speed dating activity the ratio of women to men was heavier, so I “shared” a guy each time with another really cool, quality girl name Sam (name has been changed to protect the innocent). As we gave all our spiels about ourselves in the 5 minutes we were given to each guy, I really thought she was such a catch! And would be so fun to hang out with! I started racking my brain trying to think of someone I could set her up with! Because of that feeling, there was absolutely no jealousy or even trying to outdo each other to get the guy’s attention during the 5 minutes. It made it more casual and more enjoyable for me.
Anyway back to the only potential…we’ll call him Speed…I got an email from the Speed Dating Administration telling me that Speed was interested in going out with me. So I thought, well, that’s cool! I’ll email back permission to contact me. I got Speed’s email yesterday.
He started out really well by remembering the current book I was reading at the time. He even sent picture drawing of the classic book’s main character, which I thought was pretty thoughtful. Then he included a picture of himself so I could remember exactly what he looked like. I thought that was very kind too. And he’s pretty darn good looking.
After a brief bulleted list of where he lived, what he did for a living and his religious status (active, with calling), he added two references: his bishop and the family he home teachers with their respective phone numbers.
Hmm. References? Thoughtful? Yes. A little weird? Yes.
I have mixed feelings from it. But I really shouldn’t. After some of the online dates I’ve been on – and some of my friends have been on – it really is a good idea! I guess the reason I don’t like it is because of the circumstances. Really? I have to check out a date before I go out? I can’t meet a guy at a party have a good conversation and have him ask me out and go out with me? Instead, I have to check his references? Make sure he isn't a felon or lying about his activity in the church? Yeah, sad. But that’s what you get from speed dating!
But I’m going for it! I haven’t decided whether I’ll call the references not. But I will go out with Speed if he asks.
Stay tuned for more Speed….
Showing posts with label speed dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speed dating. Show all posts
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
planting seeds (marcia)
at the risk of overposting my welcome, I thought I'd write in response to Leah’s posting on “How to Get a Date”. I don’t claim to have any secrets that I can bottle & sell or any great tips, but I did discover something recently. Those seeds you plant sometimes really do take root. They might just take a long time – a really long time to blossom.
For some reason, I’ve always dated a fair amount. I don’t think I’m cuter or more interesting than any other women. I don’t stand out in a crowd, I’m not very good at flirting, I’m not an extrovert (in fact, I don’t like a lot of attention). I guess what I’m saying is take what I say with a grain of salt – I’m no expert.
Clue and I actually met a few times before he asked me out. We first met over a year ago at a small dinner party – he didn’t ask me out then. He said he saw me again at another party last October – we didn’t even talk. Then last February (over a year after we first met) we met again at a speed-dating dinner – and he asked for my number.
Here’s the interesting stuff that you find out after you’re comfortably dating someone for while:
When we met the first time, both of us were dating other people. Because I was dating someone, I wasn’t focused on talking to the men only – I got to know both the men and the women there. I remember talking to Clue and thinking he was nice, good looking, interesting and very tall. I thought we had a good first conversation. I think it helped that I had just returned from an amazing hiking trip to Patagonia and had something fun to talk about. He says he remembers seeing “that look” in my eyes that told him I was interested.
Last October we were both at a party but I don’t remember seeing him there. He said I was in a different part of the room and at one point I looked over his way and he smiled and waved, but I either totally ignored him or didn’t see him (since I don’t remember this, I’m sticking with not seeing him). Anyway, we didn’t talk. What I do remember about that night is I pretty much sat in the same chair the whole evening and talked to different people as they came to me.
Last February at that speed dating dinner, I was sitting down next to Don (aka Don) and saw Clue out of the corner of my eye. Everyone else was standing and chatting – and there Don and I were…sitting down, talking to each other and being a bit anti-social. I didn’t recognize Clue when I first saw him so I was surprised when he seemed to walk directly towards me, sat down next to me and began talking. He re-introduced himself to me and then I not only remembered him, but I also told him some of the things I remembered him telling me about himself when we met a year ago.
In my non-expert opinion, I think it helped that I showed interest in everyone as well as Clue in the first meeting. He remembered that I had gone on some big hiking trip in some far-off land. And finally, whatever “that look” is, (I don’t remember giving him any "looks" – I think I was just genuinely interested in learning about him), it sent the right message. The second time we met (or rather, he saw me), it didn’t help that I just sat in one place the entire evening. I met a few new people and enjoyed myself, but I certainly didn’t put myself outside of my comfort zone. At the third meeting, I think I was just lucky. Lucky that Clue saw me and remembered me (he said he made a bee-line for me when he saw me – I love that!). And it certainly didn’t hurt that I remembered his story from a year ago.
For some reason, I’ve always dated a fair amount. I don’t think I’m cuter or more interesting than any other women. I don’t stand out in a crowd, I’m not very good at flirting, I’m not an extrovert (in fact, I don’t like a lot of attention). I guess what I’m saying is take what I say with a grain of salt – I’m no expert.
Clue and I actually met a few times before he asked me out. We first met over a year ago at a small dinner party – he didn’t ask me out then. He said he saw me again at another party last October – we didn’t even talk. Then last February (over a year after we first met) we met again at a speed-dating dinner – and he asked for my number.
Here’s the interesting stuff that you find out after you’re comfortably dating someone for while:
When we met the first time, both of us were dating other people. Because I was dating someone, I wasn’t focused on talking to the men only – I got to know both the men and the women there. I remember talking to Clue and thinking he was nice, good looking, interesting and very tall. I thought we had a good first conversation. I think it helped that I had just returned from an amazing hiking trip to Patagonia and had something fun to talk about. He says he remembers seeing “that look” in my eyes that told him I was interested.
Last October we were both at a party but I don’t remember seeing him there. He said I was in a different part of the room and at one point I looked over his way and he smiled and waved, but I either totally ignored him or didn’t see him (since I don’t remember this, I’m sticking with not seeing him). Anyway, we didn’t talk. What I do remember about that night is I pretty much sat in the same chair the whole evening and talked to different people as they came to me.
Last February at that speed dating dinner, I was sitting down next to Don (aka Don) and saw Clue out of the corner of my eye. Everyone else was standing and chatting – and there Don and I were…sitting down, talking to each other and being a bit anti-social. I didn’t recognize Clue when I first saw him so I was surprised when he seemed to walk directly towards me, sat down next to me and began talking. He re-introduced himself to me and then I not only remembered him, but I also told him some of the things I remembered him telling me about himself when we met a year ago.
In my non-expert opinion, I think it helped that I showed interest in everyone as well as Clue in the first meeting. He remembered that I had gone on some big hiking trip in some far-off land. And finally, whatever “that look” is, (I don’t remember giving him any "looks" – I think I was just genuinely interested in learning about him), it sent the right message. The second time we met (or rather, he saw me), it didn’t help that I just sat in one place the entire evening. I met a few new people and enjoyed myself, but I certainly didn’t put myself outside of my comfort zone. At the third meeting, I think I was just lucky. Lucky that Clue saw me and remembered me (he said he made a bee-line for me when he saw me – I love that!). And it certainly didn’t hurt that I remembered his story from a year ago.
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