Thursday, August 14, 2008

Boys and Books (Leah)

Oops - it's me again, despite my threat to take a month off. I just had to post before I forgot the thought. I finished a book not too long ago where the main male character and female character's relationship reminded me of an old relationship of mine. He and she definitely cared for each other and there was definitely chemistry. He wanted to marry her but instead she married another man, a bit duller. She never exactly says why and they never lose their zing or connectedness - but by the end you come to understand that in terms of marriage her husband really was the better choice. She asks the main guy to stay her friend, actually I think she asks him to be friends with her daughters. The setting was the late 1800's and it was not common for girls to grow up capable of intelligent conversation and this woman is definitely a thinker - you can tell that one thing she loves about the guy is his respect for her wit. What makes her husband a better option for marriage, though, is that he's stable and reliable and capable of giving her a home in which to raise daughters in the first place. The main guy she really loves tends to love adventure and travel and danger more. He believes he loves her enough to marry her, but she can see that really he would not be the man she loves if he did settle down in the family way. I know that one of the Phils I've loved definitely loved me. I believe he wanted to marry me but for whatever reason he couldn't commit to that way of life. One of the things we share that really feeds our love is our conversation and analytical tendencies. In retrospect I'm glad he couldn't settle down. I don't think in the long run I'd really be happy. Sure I miss the wit and banter and fun of dating him, but that's not what a woman builds a marriage and home life on. So the new Phil may not have the same energy and flow of conversation and adventure, but he's strong and good and offers hope of a real future. That's the sort of man a woman needs. I think. Anyway, it's just me identifying with a character in a book probably so maybe I'm reading too much into it.


Bryan said...

Please don't take a month off. I love your insightfulness. Just keep on writing.

Bryan said...

What happens when you get married? It will really stink if you stop blogging about single dating. You will need to find somebody to replace you, who is just as insightful as you and the other girls. It really helps single guys understand single women. Thanks!!!

Leah said...

Bryan - you're too kind. It's nice having such a fan. And glad we can be of help! You bring up a good point about a replacement - hopefully we'll all be out of the single mormon girl business sooner than later. But being all anonymous like it might be hard to find replacements. We'll cross that bridge when we have to I guess.