Friday, August 29, 2008
Last night I took Phil to a group thing where he met a friend. On the sly she asked how long we'd been dating and if we'd kissed yet. It got me thinking of how girlfriends are quick to ask that question. No matter how long you've been dating a guy a girlfriend tends to think physical intimacy should quickly follow. When I reply "no, nothing yet" the girlfriends will often come back with, "well I know you can speed that up" - as if they expect me to "close the deal" like some perfect salesman. I was reminded of Marnie trying to listen to herself and none of those well meaning friends. Now don't think me a perfect prude, I once kissed a guy on the first date - he started it - but I was happy to keep it going. I've also waited a few months. I'm not one to have a time line. I decided that I'm with Marnie - I intend to listen to my own desires and the flow of the relationship and not do anything rash because of any ticking clocks - ovaries or that of friends trying to live vicariously. For now I'm happy to sit and discuss big and small ideas of various kinds with Phil. When the time comes for he or me to make any move I think we'll know. It's rather refreshing, though, to know he'll ask me out regularly enough and there's no added weight of physical intimacy to muddle things up.