Monday, August 25, 2008

Taking Control (Leah)

I know that one of the concerns many of my girl friends have about dating is the aspect of control - or "who's got hand," as we sometimes say. As women we often feel at a disadvantage because of the traditional approach to dating where the woman has to wait for the guy to ask her out. We all know it's not quite as simple as that, but in our times of frustration we may over simplify it by blaming the man. As for "hand" I know women often try to keep it by putting a guy off just enough to keep him wanting - there are all kinds of theories and strategies related to that. Really I'm terrible at it all. I lack the grace of subtlety required to manage "hand" and I lack the confidence to even know if I have it or not. I know, however, that too many people tend to blame everything else (the world, the church, the friends, the exes, the family, whatever) for their lack of a relationship. Today I came across a quote, though, that fully expresses my attitude about that perspective. Forgive me if I get it a bit wrong: "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." I really believe it is every one's responsibility to find their own happiness, whether in a relationship or not, but stop finding blame outside of yourself.

3 comments:

Marnie said...

That is so true, Leah! And I've only really come to understand that fully until recently...you shouldn't blame the world and everything else, because it could very well be the way you view the world that is keeping you from getting where you want to be.

It's sad that our biggest enemy is sometimes ourselves and our attitudes. And we may not even know it...

Bryan said...

Hey Leah! I have been out of commission for a few days so I have not been blog stalking lately. I love reading your rants and insights though. I hope new Phil does not read this or he will think we have something. In the previous comments, I will be game for whatever. I will try to email something later this week.

Leah said...

Marnie - as I was typing that post I wondered to myself if I was repeating something you'd already blogged.

Bryan, you make me blush. I like having such a fan - thank you! I'm not worried about new Phil, though, since I don't intend to tell anyone I know in real life about this blog. I keep it anonymous for a reason. Do send us a post, but I believe Kris manages those.