Sunday, December 7, 2008

You've Got Mail(Bridget)

So, when I was on my mission in England long time of the most exciting times of day was the time the post man came to drop off the mail. Then, the mail we received was representative of love and support from home, from family and friends, and perhaps even a connection to ourselves,our self we left back at home. Now, fifteen years later,I find myself going to my laptop to see what kind of emails I have received, with the same hope. Every morning and evening, wondering if perhaps my one and only has sent me an email, he noticed my profile, he thinks I'm beautiful, he relates to a lot of things I've said, and he lives within twenty miles away and would like to meet and get to know eachother...the rest is history, we marry, we have a baby or two ( at least one at this point would be so welcome)and we become best friends and lovers,our bond growing stronger and more magical every year. Not too much to ask for? I don't think so, and I'm willing to wait for the relationship that can foster this kind of bond. Do I think that this will come from online dating sites? I don't know. Many times I find myself wondering if the logging onto the computer,hoping for this life changing email is more of a hindrance than a help? Because, along with the hope, comes a little sting of disappointment when there is no email, or there is an email,but its absolutely positively not the man that is going to be my one and only. (Thanks for the interest though,i'm flattered) Sometimes I think it would be a lot healthier for me if I erased my profile and stopped the antics, which sometimes feel to me like little more than trying to control something that just isn't controllable...the timing of when I will be ready to welcome the love I want into my life. And when the man that is going to give it is ready to give it. I'm on the fence right now...I am almost ready to just stop the online madness and perhaps live my life with hope, but eliminate the stings of disappointment,because maybe the online stuff is more of an illusion that I'm doing something, at least i'm out there in some sort of way...i don't know, I'm not sure...whether i'm online or not, I ultimately believe that when its right,its right...and it will manifest..any opinions?


Jules said...

Well, in my experience, online dating has just brought on more heartache than it's worth. I know--truly--that it does work for some. But the guys I tend to attract have a really great time with me in "the virtual" but as soon as we go out on a date and I become "real," they are no longer interested. It's hard for me to not think that there is something so awful about me in person.

So, I gave up on the online business, and while I don't meet as many men, I'm much happier. And there is an element of "letting go and letting God" since I'm no longer online.

Bridget said...

Absolutely, Jules, i can relate to the feeling that something must be wrong with me whe I meet someone and it doesn't work out. I guess the trick is to try and focus on the reality, that if we're not attracted to someone or they're not attracted to us...that's really as far as it should doesn't mean we're not attractive...just not right together...or meant to be. Thank you for expressing your opinion it has helped me :)