Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Soul Mate (Leah)
So as a good Mormon girl, I don't really believe in "soul mates" but I do believe you can find a man who more closely matches what you need/want more than not. At this age, though, it's easy to believe that NO one will ever be a very good match. When I say "match" I guess I mean someone that has all your values and complements you in a perfectly balanced way allowing you to shine and feel like the best you ever. Hmmm, as I type this I feel like I'm sounding like someone who has given up the dream - like someone NOT in love. Well, I'm not. Phil is good and we're connecting but more and more I'm finding areas where we're rather different. So I started reading a book about knowing if the guy you are dating is a good match - the book calls him a "soul mate." I don't want to throw the book out all together, but I do have in mind the principle that any good woman and any good man can make a rather good couple. I'm just in that stage with Phil where I want to know more NOW so that I don't fall deeper in and don't get hurt and don't hurt him, etc. The areas where we're different are in those gray areas that aren't exactly major values but could be. So I'm asking myself which things are really most important to me. How do I really define myself - that sort of thing. But when I talk to married people about this they keep saying things like, "That's minor - you can deal with that - don't give up a really great thing for something only sort of great - don't trade your eternity for something so temporal...." You following? Probably you've been there. Well, I'm there - again. When will this get easier? I think this is where we start questioning how much we value our freedom and independence as single people and question our life long goal of getting married. It reminds me of the song: "Who's on the Lord's Side Who." Like a post I made earlier - I'm going to forget Phil and forget me and just try to be on the Lord's side - not obsessed with dating. :) Wish me luck.