Sunday, June 15, 2008

Dang It!! (Kris)

I was feeling so good for putting it out there to that guy on line (see previous post). I haven't heard back from him, but I feel good about what I wrote. I am always much more satisfied with a situation when I'm open and honest, regardless of the outcome. I don't know why I don't retain that lesson, even when another opportunity presents itself just a couple of days later.

About a year ago, I visited my home ward from the singles ward. As I was walking home there was this cute guy walking home too. I started talking to him. He was visiting from another singles ward. I felt there was a little connection. In January, I transferred my records to the family ward. A few months ago, we had ward mingle after church, and I noticed a familiar looking guy heading toward me. I just figured he was someone in the ward. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but I was in charge of the mingle and wasn't thinking much about socializing. Right after he walked out, I realized it was the guy I'd met previously. I was bummed and kicked myself for not recognizing him earlier. I didn't see his name on the ward list (I only know his first name and approximately where he lives), so just assumed he was visiting again. Ever since, I've been hoping he'd show up again.

Today, he was finally there. After all that anticipation, I totally chickened out. There was another mingle, and he stuck around and chatted. I wasn't in charge so was just socializing and kept trying to make my way over to where he was, but I could not convince myself go the extra few steps and talk to him. DUH! I felt like I was back in high school- all insecure and embarrassed. That's not typical for me, although also not atypical. It seems my confidence level when it comes to approaching men is hit and miss with no real rhyme and reason to how outgoing I feel.

I left and walked home really slowly hoping he'd walk out and catch up. No such luck. All I can say now is, DANG IT.

4 comments:

Leah said...

I HATE it when I do that - just hate it! Like you I have my moments of retardedness - I mean, reservedness.

Planet Markus said...

just dropping by.

i thought i should say "hi" and extend my greetings to you, guys, as well.

i'm a fellow lds blogger living here in the philippines.

Leah said...

Markus - it's always great to have visitors - keep visiting. Feel free to let us know what life is like in the Philippines - in terms of being single and stuff.

Heidi P said...

You are beautiful and fun, so have no fear my friend! :)