Sunday, June 1, 2008

Disconnected Ramble and My Evening with X (Kris)

I was shopping with a college roommate last week and bought some fun green summer wedges. I told her that now I just needed a date so I could wear them. She reminded me that when we were in college and I was feeling the need to go out, I would just call a guy and ask him to take me out that night. Surprisingly, it worked. I've been craving a night out on the town that doesn't involve a huge group of people, but I can't imagine myself doing that now. Maybe I've gotten scared, or maybe that behavior is only appropriate in your 20's and a little juvenile now.

I don't want to come off as desperate, like I'm begging for a date. I don't feel like it's desperation, just normal to want to have some quality time with the opposite sex. I had a good friend in college who dated a lot. Even if there wasn't a girl he was really interested in pursing romantically, he would go on "friend" dates. He once explained to me that he felt men and women complimented each other, and it was important for balance in his life to spend quality time with women on a regular basis. He was not a player, but very sincere and took genuine interest in everyone he dated. I think that is profound. We talk/hear so much about the differences between men and women and how it separates us, but I think a good context for the discussion is how our differences can make relationships interesting, complimentary and necessary.

There is one guy I can always count on for a fun evening out. My ex (X). We have been friends a long time, before we dated and afterwards. We've stayed in touch and go out occasionally. He's a good dater- meaning, even though we're going out as friends, he still makes me feel like a girl. He's always a gentleman, willing to drive, pay (I usually offer dutch though), and knows all those little things that make you feel feminine. We talked recently and decided to go out last night. Ex's are nice in that you know each other really well (X knows all my secrets and vice versa) and can talk really candidly. I have no question where I stand with X. We can openly appreciate each other and know exactly the boundaries of the relationship. Although, he got a little flustered when I teased him that I had joked with my sisters when I bought the new shirt I was wearing that I'd feel so sassy wearing it that I'd probably put out with whoever was willing to take me out. :) Anyway, thank heaven for good men who, with no strings attached, just enjoy treating women like women. X has always been good with that. It is so appreciated.


Anonymous said...

I too, am thankful for X. There need to be more true gentlemen out there. Plus, its fun to wear your cute new clothes :)


Leah said...

That's where a Phil has become a Bob - those are handy. I'm glad he still treats you right. And I'm glad you made the most of some cute new shoes. I believe in getting something new and cute for a date - "date clothes" - but this is the first time I've heard of getting date clothes and then getting the date. Way to work it!