Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Foul Ball(Bridget)

So, I was watching the bachelorette the other night...I know..don't judge me. In light of recent activities in my life, the one thought that kept creeping up was, she has however many men vying for her attention and wanting to be close to her, and I can't even handle one has literally stressed me out. Dodger guy, who i mentioned as my last internet potential,didn't even make it to actually meeting me. It wasn't guacamole that did him in..i honestly think that it was partly because he was so eager to meet me. It scared me, I think.We had been talking for less than a week, and I made the mistake of giving him the link to the blog (not sure why) I had asked him if he liked Guacamole, and he said, Is this a trap? And I laughed and thought it would be funny for him to read my blog. The problem is, I think from that point I felt as if I had shown him too much about myself and had given him, without much thought, the opportunity to access very raw and private thoughts and feelings. Its one thing to share these thoughts anonymously to blog readers, its quite another to share them with a person that is interested in meeting me to date. I felt too exposed too soon. Then, I started thinking and I do, he lived too far away, I have a very full life right now in Southern Cal, and didn't have the time for a long distance relationship. The end result was ultimately not having even the desire to meet someone.I have learned a lot. I have learned that for me, the need for trust before I open myself up to someone is monumental and one of the keys to my ability to feel comfortable. Hopefully, I will remember this for the next time.


Leah said...

Clarification - you dodged him because you over shared? He's out of the running because he has seen too much of your more private self? If he can handle it then I say keep at it. If he did the dodging... well, shame on him or something. Personally - I tell know one I'm very close to about this blog. That makes it easier for me. Somehow.

Bridget said...

it was me that did the dodging,and when you put it that way, it really makes me think...sometimes for me, not a good thing.but in this situation maybe a little bit more is a good you ever think yourself out of things and get to the point where you don't know what's real or not? or is this just me?