Friday, July 18, 2008

The Good and The Bad (Kris)

First, here are some of the things I'm enjoying about IG2 (Traveler (IG1) never got in touch with me when he got back this week. He did call once, but didn't leave a message. I guess I'll send him an email.) IG2 is really a good date. It's been a while since I've gone out with a guy who really gets how to date. It's so refreshing. He plans fun and interesting dates i.e. mountain biking at a local ski resort last weekend, and we're going to the symphony up a Deer Valley this weekend. And he's just a nice date on the date. Independent me is so not used to someone taking care of stuff. I like it. This is the other impressive thing- on our first date he had a change of clothes in the car in case how he dressed didn't match me (meaning if I had dressed more/less formally). This struck me because about a week earlier I had mentioned to a friend how the past several guys that I've gone out with have come to pick me up in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. I would never have something like that be a deal breaker, but it's just flattering when a guy actually seems to care about the impression he makes.

What bothers me is the whole internet dating scenario. It's strange for me to date someone I really didn't know at all. My only experience with him are dates. Most guys I've dated, I've known pretty well before we went out. This is a new experience, which I guess is a good thing. Also, it feels like I'm on a season of The Bachelor. Sure, this guy takes me out, we connect, and he seems to like me, but all I can do is assume he's got a number of other girls from the internet that he's connecting with and dating. I was always turned off by guys in the singles ward who dated everyone then asked me out. Like I'm just a number. Not that I think someone has to commit to dating me exclusively before asking me out. I don't have any such expectation. I just don't want to feel like I'm being played. I also want to feel special, not like I'm competing for his affection. I think that is kind of degrading. I've wasted far too much time trying to convince someone to like me. I don't want to seem too focused on this- I really don't expect someone to have one date with me then want to ditch every other girl. It's just that Bachelor feeling. I think the women on that show are a bit pathetic.

The flip side is equally confusing. I don't think I know this guy well enough to say I just want to date him, but I also feel weird continuing to search online. I guess I don't have to. Just seems smart especially if he's continuing to woo the women online. :)

Mostly, it's all good and I'm having fun. These are welcome dilemmas in my life. :)


Leah said...

Don't pay attention to those TV shows - they're enough to mess a girl's thinking up. I know what you mean, though. You have to keep looking but it feels wrong. You want them to stop looking but that's silly. There's no winning. I'm just glad to hear that you're having fun and things are going well. Very cool of him to be so considerate clothing wise.

Anonymous said...

Just keep dating. Seriously. Especially with internet dating there is no way to know how many people he is connecting with. So just don't think about it until absolutely necessary.