Security Guard Stare (Marnie)

So I’ve been religiously trying out my goal of smiling more and being more friendly at church and church functions since my last post. I’ve even been practicing while at the store and in the car! I know that sounds like such an easy thing to do, but if you know my full “history” you’d understand this is scary stuff for me. It’s not because I’m shy. In fact, at times I’m probably too outgoing for some people’s taste. But if someone of the opposite sex shows too much attention towards me, I sometimes feel threatened and feel like I have to retreat into my “steely eyes” look to put them off hoping they WON’T continue to show too much attention. (My “steely eyes” – as one man described it – are what I pull out when walking down deserted dark alleys and parking lots to help warn a potential attacker that I am more scary than they are – not a good tactic when trying to meet potential interests.) I am proud to say I haven’t used “steely” eyes to scare off guys for quite some time…I get props for that, right??

Where did I get “steely eyes? Well, I went through many years where if a guy approached me, showed interest and even pursued me, I’d run faster than a speeding bullet. Away, that is. Why? Geez. I couldn’t really pinpoint it. Fearing lack of control? Fearing the unknown? Fearing of being trapped into something I wouldn’t know how to get out of? I’ve had nightmares all growing up (and still occasionally) of getting married and then waking up the next day realizing it was the biggest mistake of my life because he wasn’t right for me. And I think somehow along the way, I convinced myself that I had to make SURE I didn’t “fall” for just any guy without making a very calculated, wise decision to fall in love with a very safe man that I knew I could really trust. Yeah, not very romantic or realistic. I like to blame that idea from all those Love Boat episodes I watched while growing up. How many of the guest stars – and even the Love Boat crew - made stupid and ridiculous “love choices” because they got carried away with their emotions and hormones? Well, I wasn’t going to be THAT stupid. I was going to be smart about love!

That has put a real damper on my social and dating life in the past. I had crushes ONLY after watching a guy for some time – you know, watching in the wings, not really making any connections until I felt he was trustworthy and safe. And if it was his idea and he came on too fast or too strong, no matter how cute he was, I just gave some justifications and rationalizations as to why he wasn’t the right guy for me.

In fact, The One peaked my interest because of his initial approach. When I first met him, he gave me a compliment, which was very flattering and caught my attention (why don’t normal men give compliments anymore???). We had a 20 minute conversation and then he disappeared to the other side of the room for the rest of the night and just kind of watched me. Not a creepy watch, but an observing watching. If he had spent all night with me, I would have totally felt trapped and would have pushed him away making him NEVER want to talk to me again.

Anyway, I digress. So I’ve come a long way from my normal “pretend you don’t notice you are walking down the hall past 5 single guys and be sure to not make eye contact” to now my “big smile” and a scan across each of their faces as I walk by….well, you get my drift.

I can’t tell you how empowering it’s been! I’ve had some men notice me that hadn’t in the last 2 months because of my new Security Guard Stare. (see my last post for more details about the security guard that inspired this all) My Security Guard Stare works this way, you catch a guys gaze, smile pleasantly and remain in the gaze until you slowly say in your head “security guard.” That’s a lot of seconds for a girl like me! BUT it seems to be working.

And so the experiment continues…

Predictability (Leah)

First - I'd like to say that the whole "anonymity" thing I take credit for - I for one didn't want to be linked in real life to these confessions - I'm already known for saying WAY too much. One of my goals is to be less vocal about my personal/dating life. I figured if I shared on here that would help satisfy the urge to "spill" and spare not only my friends an earful, but also spare the guy I dated a bit of over exposure.

Okay - so... on with my stories! Phil is a bit predictable. He's one of those guys that is super logical and methodical. He doesn't "get" art and music doesn't make him move - he said so himself. I could have guessed it. But he is kind. He is thoughtful. He does his duty. And, I love that he's a bit predictable. I like the security that comes from dating a guy that you know will ask you out regularly enough. I like knowing that even if he's not emailing, or calling to chat, or even hanging on my every word in person, he genuinely enjoys my company and is making an effort to date me.

He was out of town last weekend, but I saw him at Family Home Evening and he made an effort to sit and visit with me. I went home hoping that I'd hear from him later that night, but expecting that I'd hear from him on Tuesday night asking me out for this weekend. Luckily I'd managed to keep it open - yeah, not so hard now that I think about it. But he didn't call Tuesday night and I was a bit disappointed, but I figured he was the sort who might still ask me out on Wednesday - a lot of guys follow the rule that you can't ask out a woman after Wednesday. So, Wednesday night I went out shopping with the girlfriends and when I got home the phone was beeping indicating there was a message. Without looking at caller ID I knew it was him. I called him back like he asked me to on the message - luckily he'd indicated the time he'd go to bed so I knew I could still call - so polite! He hadn't perfectly finalized all the details yet, but he asked me out for Saturday night. And just like every date we've had previously, it involves some of his family members - this time his parents. (Dates involving family - another topic for discussion.)

While we were talking he told me how his aunt had asked him if we were still seeing each other. She told him that she thought I was the sort of person that just brings happiness wherever I go - we had met on our first date. She gave us cookies. I think she's the sort that brings happiness wherever she goes - but I was very grateful for the compliment and I was grateful that he shared it with me. I think he was saying that I make him happy. And I must say - that makes me very happy!

My Cover is Blown (Kris)

**UPDATE** Apparently you put my real name in google and this blog shows up- how'd that happen? I thought I took every precaution to keep this away from my real identity (ha-sounds like I'm a superhero with a secret identity- except that would be a lot cooler. ) The most troubling part is I can't figure out how to get rid of it.


Grant told me yesterday that his sister found this blog (shout out to L if you're reading this-nice to sort of meet you :) ) At first I was mortified and sat there through dinner trying to remember everything I'd written. Having Grant know about it is one thing, but his sister is a different story. She's someone I don't know, but I hope to meet someday and hope she likes me. Having her know all these details before any of that makes me a bit intimidated. But maybe this is just how it is supposed to happen. The purpose of this blog is to get me over my inhibitions. The original idea was not to have aliases and just really put everything out there. Things are what they are, I think how I think, and it really shouldn't matter who knows. Right? Do you think this is naive? Is it better to hold my cards closer to my chest?

Grant assured me that he stopped her from telling him too much about it and she said she wouldn't read it either, but I emailed him today and told him it would be OK. Having Clue read Marcia's blog seems to have worked out well, and now they are just "riding the wave of love" (see Marcia's post below). Now my challenge will be to continue to blog as if I am still anonymous. I actually have been composing a few things in my head. I'll post more later.

Geez, I guess being so bad at keeping my cover makes me a failure as an Angel. What would Bosley say?

Good Men (Leah)

I spoke to Kris yesterday and told her a couple stories as we shared excitement over Cary Grant. I thought I had nothing to report on the blog, but she encouraged me to share what little has happened since I last posted.

So... progress with Phil. There's really only one now - the original Phil is history - the new Phil I've managed to go out with twice. Our last date was when I invited him to a movie - not a normal movie, but a really weird one that most people wouldn't necessarily enjoy. He came along happily and for the most part seemed fine with it. We had a great conversation afterward on my porch - really that's the best part of dates anyway - the follow-up conversation. Sometimes I wish that were the date itself. The next day he told me he wouldn't be going to any more of those types of movies with me. I had to remind myself that he wasn't rejecting me - only the movie. Still - it would make me much happier if he'd prefaced it with something like, "I enjoy spending time with you... and would like to continue doing so..." but I think that would require more communication skills and interest than many men of my peer group seem to have. I think there is still some potential there, so I haven't given up hope yet.

When I needed another date, though, I didn't want to call on him, being still so new to each other I decided I better give him some space. Luckily I thought of another guy to ask. This one probably will never be a Phil - we've been acquaintances long enough that if there was interest there it probably would have come up sooner. It was a group date, though, and at one point in the evening I looked around at the men and thought to myself that they were really great good people and I felt lucky to be spending an evening with them. There are times when I just think of how lucky I am to know and hang out with (and hopefully date) some of the best people in the world!

Cary Grant (Kris)

Sorry, I feel like I'm monopolizing the blog. There just seems to be a lot going on. I don't know where to start. Mostly my brain isn't functioning too well on such little sleep. I saw IG2 last night. Sort of a spontaneous invite for him to join me at a BBQ with some friends. I was surprised how excited I was to see him when he said he could come. After dinner, we ended up back at my place and had some really good conversation.

It's so nice to be on the same page with a guy I'm dating. It hardly ever happens. We both are freaking out a bit that we like each other so much yet we really don't know each other that well. It was surprisingly easy to talk openly with him. He's also so complimentary and romantic. None of it seems cheesy, I think because he's just being kind and sincere.

I told him about this blog. I was hesitant because I'm not ready to have him read it. I don't want to edit myself, but I felt like I needed to make sure he was OK with me sharing my relationship with him with my fabulous internet friends. :) He was cool about it. He knows I enjoy blogging and said he was fine not getting the blog address. I asked him to help me think of his alias, we settled on Grant, as in Cary Grant. We both like the classic films and are big Cary Grant fans. And to be honest (if not too cheesy) he makes me feel like a leading lady on the silver screen. He dances with me in my living room and says all those fabulous things I thought was only in fiction. He's dreamy. He actually sent me poetry today that he wrote for me. Watch me swoon.

I haven't shared much about him. He has two sons that live with him. Tomorrow I'm meeting them. The oldest is turning 12 so we are spending the day celebrating. I'm stressing a bit about it. In fact, I don't think I've been so imtimidated by a 12 year old since the grade school playground. I love kids; kids usually love me. But I feel like chemistry with his kids is going to be a huge factor in the direction the relationship is going to go. Then there's the birthday present. I love giving fun gifts, but I don't want to seem like I'm buying his affection (although this works well with my neices and nephews). I want to find something little that is the perfect gift to say that I'm the coolest girl his dad has ever dated. No pressure. :)

I really think that thinking about it is the hardest part. Once I get there and all the unknowns are known, all should be fine. (I hope). :)

that sweet spot (marcia)

A new favorite sport of mine is wake surfing. For those not familiar with boating or waterskiing, you basically surf behind a ski boat on the boat’s wake. If you have just the right combination…a big wake, the right board and a bit of magic, you can find that sweet spot on the wake, let go of the rope and literally surf for as long as the magic lasts. When all those elements come together, it’s amazing. It makes me smile and it’s a smile that stays on my face for a very long time.

Clue and I spent a lovely week houseboating at Lake Powell in June. He learned to wake board, ski and surf all in one week and most of all, he gained an appreciation for my sport of choice. Clue was with a houseboat full of my friends and family, he was in my element – not his, and he was learning brand new sports in front of me. And he did great. He wasn’t even intimidated to be dating someone who was better at a sport than he is (which is behavior that I find somewhat troubling in men). We had a couple of very minor kinks to work out during the week which actually felt very healthy. We can see things differently, discuss them and still like each other. There’s nothing like going on vacation and being around each other 24 hours a day for a week to really get to know each other. All in all, it was a great trip that I didn’t want to see end.

So now we’re both back in town and we’ve found that sweet spot. We’ve found that groove where things fit together, there’s a bit of magic and we can just let go of the rope and ride the wave.

How Quickly Things Change (Kris)

I think my posts have been a little confusing with the whole IG1 and IG2 thing. IG1 who is now called Traveler may not get a lot of airtime from here on out. IG2 I'm totally stumped on his alias. I'm liking him and wanting a really solid name, it's just not coming to me.

I went out with both of them over the weekend. Traveler was last minute. We had one nice date a few weeks ago, then he was out of town for a couple of weeks, then busy catching up on his work/life. I understand all of that and was OK with meeting for dinner last minute. I think he's a good guy, but conversation didn't really flow over dinner and, as I said, I found myself wishing I'd gone to the movies with my girlfriends especially since he had other things to get done that night so it was just dinner and I was heading home by 8:00.

Contrast that to IG2 who had planned such a fun date for Saturday night. It's so flattering to have someone put effort into an evening. Dinner then the symphony at Deer Valley complete with sparkling juice and European chocolates. On our previous two dates, I'd had fun with him but wondered if we were going to connect on a deeper level. We talked and talked all evening (probably much to the dismay of those around us at the concert). I was really impressed. I had no idea such emotionally healthy men existed. We ended the evening back at my place talking and "not talking" until the wee hours of the morning. It really was a great evening with a great guy. We discussed some of our dating histories and internet dating so my fears of being one of "The Batchelor" girls has been somewhat alleviated.

We've talked briefly the past two nights. (Yay for a guy who knows you call a girl the day after you kiss her.) We have plans this weekend. I just need to stay calm with no freaking out and I think it will all be OK. :)

Update (Kris)

Traveler contacted me late this afternoon. We ended up going to dinner. I cancelled going to see Mama Mia with my girlfriends to do so. After all is said and done, I wish I went to the movie. Enough said. :)

Listen to your gut (Leah)

I just had a conversation with a girl friend whose romantic life is going the right direction. She was asking about the old Phil and the new Phil. I was telling her how I just feel a bit in a slump - no "feeling" one way or another. She told me to forget the Phils and listen to my gut. Do what I want. Well, I really wanted to go see a particular film tomorrow night. I'd been brave yesterday and invited a totally different wannabe-Phil to go with me and he "had plans." Sigh. So my girl friend said I should just call up new Phil and tell him how I really want to see the film and invite him to go with me. I had nothing to lose. She was right. This way I was doing what I wanted and living my life with the attitude that he could join me if he wanted - I was kindly inviting him to join me - I think it's all in the mental attitude. Anyway, I did it, he's coming, and I feel good. And for now, that's what counts. I think I'll spend my Friday night watching a DVD. Cutting Edge: Chasing the Dream - some third installment of a really good chick flick. The point is, we over analyze and debate within ourselves and never just go with what we want - listen to your gut - it pays.

The Good and The Bad (Kris)

First, here are some of the things I'm enjoying about IG2 (Traveler (IG1) never got in touch with me when he got back this week. He did call once, but didn't leave a message. I guess I'll send him an email.) IG2 is really a good date. It's been a while since I've gone out with a guy who really gets how to date. It's so refreshing. He plans fun and interesting dates i.e. mountain biking at a local ski resort last weekend, and we're going to the symphony up a Deer Valley this weekend. And he's just a nice date on the date. Independent me is so not used to someone taking care of stuff. I like it. This is the other impressive thing- on our first date he had a change of clothes in the car in case how he dressed didn't match me (meaning if I had dressed more/less formally). This struck me because about a week earlier I had mentioned to a friend how the past several guys that I've gone out with have come to pick me up in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. I would never have something like that be a deal breaker, but it's just flattering when a guy actually seems to care about the impression he makes.

What bothers me is the whole internet dating scenario. It's strange for me to date someone I really didn't know at all. My only experience with him are dates. Most guys I've dated, I've known pretty well before we went out. This is a new experience, which I guess is a good thing. Also, it feels like I'm on a season of The Bachelor. Sure, this guy takes me out, we connect, and he seems to like me, but all I can do is assume he's got a number of other girls from the internet that he's connecting with and dating. I was always turned off by guys in the singles ward who dated everyone then asked me out. Like I'm just a number. Not that I think someone has to commit to dating me exclusively before asking me out. I don't have any such expectation. I just don't want to feel like I'm being played. I also want to feel special, not like I'm competing for his affection. I think that is kind of degrading. I've wasted far too much time trying to convince someone to like me. I don't want to seem too focused on this- I really don't expect someone to have one date with me then want to ditch every other girl. It's just that Bachelor feeling. I think the women on that show are a bit pathetic.

The flip side is equally confusing. I don't think I know this guy well enough to say I just want to date him, but I also feel weird continuing to search online. I guess I don't have to. Just seems smart especially if he's continuing to woo the women online. :)

Mostly, it's all good and I'm having fun. These are welcome dilemmas in my life. :)

a new perspective..it's all about love (marcia)

Sometimes I forget that life really is about love. It’s about loving others and about being loved. Anything and everything else is a bonus. Actually, love itself is a bonus.

I just returned from my fifth trip to the Sunflower Orphanage in Peru. As usual, it was an amazing trip with new experiences, but this trip was especially sweet to me. If you’ll indulge me a bit, I’m going to digress from my usual dating posting, but I hope you’ll find it applies.

The Sunflower is home to 37 beautiful children. The 37th child (I’ll call her Liz), a 9 year old darling girl, arrived while I was there. Her mother and a social worker dropped Liz off with a simple explanation that she couldn’t afford her. This child was beautiful. She was also in shock. She was in a strange place, with strange people and her mother had just abandoned her.

I talked to her for a bit. What’s your name, how old are you, what’s your favorite food? And then we took her into our donations room where we gave her a fleece comfort quilt in her favorite color, yellow. We let her pick out a new pink backpack. We gave her a school kit, a hygiene kit with a cool Disney toothbrush, new clothes and pajamas and a cute stuffed animal. We gave her lots of hugs and we talked to her as if she were the most important child in the world.

Here’s the amazing stuff. Within 1 minute of meeting little Liz, I loved her. I struggled to hold back the tears as I watched her wide, scared eyes take everything in. I did everything I could to let her know she was safe. I wanted to give her the best fleece blanket, the best stuffed animal, the best backpack, even the best ball point pen. I hugged her a dozen times. I loved her, but most importantly I wanted her to feel loved.

Liz arrived while the rest of the children were at school but it wasn’t long before they got home. We introduced her to the other children and asked a few of the older girls to help and befriend her. I was a proud mama as I watched our kids take her by the hand and take her on a tour. It wasn’t long before they were running around playing. By the end of the day, you couldn’t pick out the new girl from the crowd. She fit in and she was one of us.

In contrast to that sad but beautiful experience with Liz, we had a disturbing experience being stuck in a two-day general strike that pretty much paralyzed the city we were in. The people were frustrated with the government and placed barricades all along the main (and only) road through the Sacred Valley for a couple of days. There was no transportation other than walking. People were angry and were complaining about the economic conditions. Many were drunk. I felt for the people. Life dealt them a difficult card.

Now that I’m back in the real world, I’ve thought several times about the experience of welcoming Liz into our home. And I’ve also thought about the strike. It is a stark contrast to go from one memory to the other. I still feel the pain of the people and their difficult lives. I understand their valid complaints and their justified frustrations. And then I fondly remember the sweet experience that began when a frightened 9 year old walked through our front gate and into my heart.

That’s my challenge. While I’m completely aware that my world and my degree of frustrations in no way compare with third-world poverty, I have from time to time felt the desire to go on strike. I know I’ve complained. I’ve probably thrown in a few barricades along the way.

But now I’m trying to remember that life’s about love. I’m trying to develop the kind of love that I had for Liz – the kind where I want others to have the best comfort quilt. I’m trying to remember that’s what life is about – it’s about loving and being loved.

By the way, if you’re interested, you can take a look at the Sunflower and our kids at www.southerncrosshumanitarian.org.

Marriage Proposal #1 (Marnie)

I’m currently back east in a really large city for a work conference this week. The building that has the conference has a lot of security measures at the front door including an x-ray scanner to examine your belongings. Well, I’ve found that when working with security (TSA or any other kind) it is best to smile, follow directions thoroughly and look like you are paying full attention to them.

The security guard today looked a little annoyed with the big group that was coming in today, so I tried really hard to follow his directions and pay attention to him. I smiled kindly at him and watched his cues – which he didn’t really give a lot of – so I guessed a bit. Once I got my computer thru he held it back. I walked over to him to see the problem and he said, “I kept your bag because I wanted to ask if you would take an offer of marriage.” That was the LAST thing I thought he would say to me! I smiled, laughed nervously and said, “Actually, I’m not taking any this week! But you are so sweet! Thank you!” He smiled back and said, “Ok, but if you change your mind, I’ll be here.”

When I told my friend about the experience when she questioned about my delay, she said, “My goodness, you really are working hard to get married! Men can feel the vibe coming from you!!” I thought that was an interesting idea and I‘ll admit, it made me feel good about my many past efforts.

After pondering the proposal, I wondered what the difference was that I would get such a comment from a total stranger when I’m normally just one of the crowd. I then realized I had looked him straight in the eye with a smile and didn’t look away. I was waiting for instructions; he took it as a sign of me liking to look at him. And it must not have been a threatening thing because he responded very well to it.

So, the new goal: when I see a pleasant looking stranger, I’m going to try to make eye contact and smile. Not a creepy one and not a stare, but just a good contact. That’s got to help a bit, right? That makes me more approachable. The real goal will be to try it at my new singles’ ward and at the different activities we have. The ward is huge and it makes it hard to meet people for some reason. With this new tactic, I’m bound to get a conversation out of one or two guys – maybe even commitment-phobia-ed men! Now that would be an achievement!

Make up your Mind (Bridget)

About two years ago when I moved back to California I went out to a singles activity with a friend. I was introduced to a tall blonde guy,lets call him Hal. Do you ever think that the Universe is sending you signs that this guy that you have just met just may be the one? First of all, I had gone to a psychic a couple of years before and she had told me the man I would marry had light hair and light eyes. Hal has light eyes and light hair....Hal happened to live up the street from my brother AND was his home teacher...coincidence? At the time, I thought...maybe not...My friend suggested that Hal and I meet her down in San Diego at a dance...we could drive down together.Both of us agreed. We talked on the phone once to firm up plans, I would drive down an hour to his area and we would go the rest of the way to San Diego together. Hal was 37 year old Mormon Male,never been married. The never been married quality is a good thing, but also can be a curious thing. Why has he not ever been married, in a culture that is so marriage focused, and he being a male who is traditionally the chooser...why has he reached this age being single?

When Hal and I spoke on the phone, he asked sort of joking, would I be driving all the way to San Diego? I brushed it off and said no. More on this later.
The drive, in Hal's car, down to San Diego was surprising full of chemistry...he made me laugh quite a bit and we seemed to have a similar point of view when it came to the church and we liked a lot of the same movies...he had told me that he was doing things lately that he had never done before...for instance he told me he had never been to a pet store so he went to peruse one....kind of different..and not really an "out of the box" move,but chemistry seemed to go a long way, because by the time we got down to the dance I was interested.

We danced to a couple of songs, including Honesty by Billy Joel..even two years later I remember this. I also remember the answer he gave to my question, "So what are you looking for in a woman?" He had a couple of decent answers, like" trust and openness"...then he comes out with, "and I probably shouldn't say this, i know I'm not supposed to but she needs to be hot"...(huh?) and he said, "looking back on the relationships I've had in the past, I've realized that the reasons they have not worked is the girls have not been sporty.."(double huh?)

At the time, I was turned off, but that was overshadowed by my thought, Does he think I'm hot? And I'm definitely not sporty...so I guess I'm not what he's looking for...(sigh.)And dangit, why couldn't I have been sporty? Can't I ever catch a break? Why do i have to be the type of girl that runs from any opportunity to play volleyball and softball...

So on the way home, when he was just about to drop me off, I told him I had a really good time talking with him...that I had fun. He told me I was fun to talk to as well. We left it at that..he didn't ask me out, although he had my number.
So the next week I was wondering if he was going to call..was I hot in his definition? Only time would tell..my friend told me he was shy and hardly ever went on dates...so I was hoping I'd hear from him, but not sure if I would. Then he called me, that next Friday night. I was too freaked out to answer, so I let it go to voice mail. He left a voice mail saying he was on his way to Blockbuster and he couldn't remember some of the movies I had suggested. So I was wondering is he just calling me with the movies as an excuse or does he really just want to know about the movies? I called him back after a respectable amount of time...and we talked for about 20 minutes..by the end of the conversation I still didn't know if he was just using the movie as an excuse...but we got off the phone with no talk of seeing eachother again. I saw him a couple of more times at dances and we chatted a bit, never anything more. So there was my answer,he had just called about movies.

Fast forward two years and I am on Eharmony. Who shows up as a match of mine? Hal!! We had 29 dimensions of compatibility.I laughed and again, thought,what have we here? A coincidence again? I didn't do anything, i waited to see what he would do. Even though I played it off to my friends with mostly sarcasm, I was genuinely interested in getting to know Hal better. I considered requesting communication so we could laugh together about this, but before I had a chance,he closed me with the reason "I want to pursue other matches at Eharmony" Very well...I gave him a "Good luck in your search" reply, which only makes me look good....not jilted, or vulnerable, just good,unaffected...right?

Then I forgot about it...recently I received a fast track communication request from Hal. He apparently reopened me. He asked me how I was and if I had seen any good movies lately. I was really confused..why was he now emailing me after he closed me? What was he trying to do,what were his intentions? We emailed back and forth for a few days...I was just about to ask him for an explanation as to why he closed me and now is emailing me...but he never responded to my last email...

I wasn't going to let him get the best of me..and I absolutely was not going to let him close me again..the wishy washy single mormon male...so I went through all of the canned reasons E harmony gives as options to close the match, there's the "I don't think we have chemistry", there's the "i want to pursue other matches". Then there was the seemingly perfect one for me to close Hal, simply "other". That was all he got from me.

In thinking about this extensively, because that's what I do.. what stands out to me is the fact that at the very beginning he turned me off by the way he answered my question...he was looking for someone hot and sporty..the hot part..everyone wants to be attracted, and for me, that is a must as well..but the fact that he told me that in those words, really annoyed me...i think because thats something you say to another guy...not a woman. Then the sporty thing, I just thought that was weird..that whether someone plays volleyball with you is a must have in order to marry. I was also turned off by the fact that he asked me if I was going to drive us down to the dance. I still can't put my finger on why that bothered me, I think at the time I thought that it was lazy and he didn't know how to treat a woman properly. Even if he wasn't interested in me as a love interest,I think if he was a gentleman he wouldn't even have considered me driving him around. So if I was turned off by him, why did I continue to hope that he was interested in me? I think it had to do with the fact that he is a Mormon guy and that carries a lot of weight when a girl is looking for one. I think at the time I was trying particularly hard to get over GSE, and I wanted my Mormon prince to whisk me off and take me to the temple. GSE is the first man ever that is not Mormon that I would marry. In my heart I know I would. I think the very fact that Hal is Mormon, and I felt chemistry with him in any way,shape,or form is also what led me to give him another chance when he was a match of mine on Eharmony. This is what I am supposed to want. I say supposed to, because sometimes I forget that when I find myself thinking about being with GSE.

At this moment, Hal has frustrated me enough...and due to "other" reasons,I have closed him, as well as the possibility that this mormon guy is the one for me.As far as being with someone that is not Mormon,for me the verdict is still out, and is still open.

Rant (Leah)

Okay, I know the deal is this isn't supposed to be rip on men style blogging, but can I rip on women just a tiny bit? Really, sometimes women are their own worst enemy. I out with a group last night - good times - but some of the women I'd have to describe as just plain grumpy-bitter or grumpy-old. One woman was feeling a bit burned by a guy who had no interest in dating her. She wanted him shunned in every way possible and was bitter that any of the other girls in the group bothered to look at him. It made her not so fun to be around. Then a couple other women were so intent on "taking care of" another woman that they basically avoided talking to anyone else and were grumpy about the large group being so social - and basically kept the "needy" one so smothered that she didn't get a chance to interact with anyone else either. Really - relax the circle of sisterhood and embrace other people already!

Rant done.

More About Expectation Management (Leah)

I was discussing this concept of expectation management with a good friend last night. I'm a bit hesitant to know which expectations need lowering. The ex-Phil sometimes felt like women had way too many expectations - in terms of timing. He felt like one reason we didn't work out is that I expected him to figure things out faster. He may have a point - but I still feel that after a year of on again off again dating and friendship, my expectations weren't too much. Yes, everyone has their own time schedule and we shouldn't be so stuck on "rules" that we don't find our own flow, but is it too much to expect that he could have made a commitment to at least be exclusive?

In other areas of expectations management - we all like to be treated well. Generally, men on the first few dates, do a good job of getting doors or treating you to a nice enough dinner. You know, "real" dates. Well, lately the Phil that has been asking me out keeps asking me to family functions - very casual stuff, like babysitting the nieces and nephews. Sure it would be nice if he took me to a play or dinner or something, but truthfully, I think this is okay. I think he likes to really get to know a woman in a natural setting. STILL one of these days, I'd hope he could step it up a notch and take me on a real date. Anyway, for now I'm managing my expectations.

The Boys (Kris)

Well internet date two was fun. I'm not sure what to think, two internet dates and I liked them both. It makes me doubt myself and over think everything. Maybe I'm just excited to have someone like me and turning that into interest in these guys. Historically, I'm not the best judge of character. OK- I'm going to try to leave the analysis behind and just have fun. I mean, really, what more is there to do than just go forward and see what happens, right? This will be hard for me.

I need aliases for these guys. Internet Guy 1 and Internet Guy 2 are pretty boring names. Any suggestions? Internet Guy 3- didn't happen yet. We were supposed to do lunch last week but he's turning out to be a little flaky. He actually called tonight and I didn't pick up. I was in the middle of a bunch of things and just didn't want to sit and chat. Plus his voice sounds a lot like my brother's crazy college roommate. It's a little unsettling.

Here's the 411 on the date with IG2. We met for dinner, then I suggested a quirky little movie that I've been dying to see that was closing last weekend. He agree and liked it. Passing the indie movie test scores him big time points in my book. We have a lot of the same taste in movies, music, etc. He's a talker, which made the evening easy. I've found I enjoy him more in person than on the phone. Which is normal for me. I'm not a big phone talker, but neither of these guys live very close to me so I guess I need to be OK with phone communication. He did call on Monday and we chatted for almost two hours. Here more proof of my ability to attract nerds- we talked for probably 20 minutes about monster movies. Yes, and I found it very interesting. Sometimes I just want a really cool guy, but I admit, I'm a big nerd and seem to attract the same. I've decided "cool" is being OK with your nerdiness, because I think we've all got that side to us. I say, "Embrace the inner nerd!" That's what's really cool. This way I can be true to my nerdy roots yet still end up with someone cool, right??? (That was sort of a weird tangent)

IG1 is still out of town. He actually sent me an email earlier this week when he was briefly online between trips. I thought that was nice. He sent me a blog of his trip, which of course I had to snoop around and read all his entries. He just seems like a solid, good guy. This is embarrassing, but I found myself re-reading his email a few times today. I think I just wanted to feel like I was hearing from him again. Yep, nerdy yet again, I know. He said he'd call when he's back in town.

Now here's me being a little mean. I ride with a biking group. Tonight this new guy asked for my phone number. I really didn't want to give it to him, but did. He asked me in front of the group which was weird. I could sense it coming. I'm usually pretty good at sending the "I'm being polite but don't ask me out" vibe. But he just wasn't getting it. I was trying so hard to make excuses to stop talking and drive away, but he was persistent- or oblivious. Here's maybe TMI that's a little unkind. He put his bike on his car, I was parked a little ways down the street. He got out a skateboard and rode down the street then did some trick right in front of my car (which he totally messed up). I wanted to just laugh- are we 14!! I know he's busted some unwanted moves on one of my friends in his ward too. So I'll hand it to him for getting out there, but he's just not too perceptive about what's going on. Now I'm worried it's going to put an awkwardness in the bike group. That would be a bummer.

Overall, good things in the dating world. I'm enjoying having some nice guys to date and excited to see what will happen. I admit it was much easier to maintain this blog when I was just writing about ideas and not real people. There is a bit of paranoia one of these guys will come across this blog and realize who I am. Yikes. Again, I wanted that to be the point, I guess, letting go of inhibitions.

Trying to Repent (Marnie)

I wrote this whole big rant this weekend about how lame Speed is. But now it just seems silly and bitter to put all that info on the blog. So, I decided to just suck it up and give a smaller, more concise version and hope the bitterness comes out as just some frustration.

After a couple of email exchanges over the last few weeks, Speed called me at 11:30am on a weekday last week. A normal girl would be really flattered and happy. Not me! It really, really, really annoyed me. I was already having a “week” which didn’t help, but finding out what time he called me, made me totally have a cow.

What was the reason for my cow? Well, why call a girl in the middle of the day? He knows I work! Why would he think I would be home??? Or even be able to answer the cell phone if I was at work? If he really wanted to talk to me, wouldn’t he pick a better time that makes more sense? Either he was just following his gut after he got my email and he really wanted to talk to me, or, he was being lame by leaving a message in the middle of day knowing I wouldn’t be home to get it AND throwing the ball into my court making me do the work because he has no backbone.

Of course, I assumed the second.

I know, I know - I was looking for an excuse to not take a risk because of the fear that I had already pegged this guy – one more strange dude that has no social skills and will cause some uncomfortable and possibly annoying moments in my life.

I ended up not calling him until…well, I didn’t.

After some very animated spewing to some girlfriends, followed by some soul-searching, I’ve decided to buck up and contact him back and follow through until the end – even though he is acting a LOT like a guy I went out with once before. (For your information, that “guy” ended up providing THE LONGEST DATE OF MY LIFE. So you can see why I’m really hesitating.)

I guess what bugs me is that all of this takes effort and risk. And frankly, I’m tired of putting out effort and risk on things that don’t look good at all from the very beginning. I realize I’m projecting on poor Speed, but I still feel like this will end just like all the other bad blind dates. And I’m tired. Really tired. Of all of this.

But then, who isn’t tired?

So, after pouting for a weekend, I emailed him today. Yep, I swallowed my pride and did it. In the email, I apologized for not getting back to him. We'll see how he takes my flakiness. I probably should have called him, but this seemed the most normal response in this situation.

Wait!! Who am I kidding? None of this normal! Did you ever think all of this is just completely insane? Finding a mate? While being over 35 years old? AND Mormon? Yeah, completely insane!!

And yet, I push onward…

There. I feel better.

Sushi for Two(Bridget)

I had a date on Monday night with a 30 year old writer. It happened pretty quickly,well sort of...months ago I received an email from a very sincere guy with a great vocabulary(use big words and I'm your's.)We instant messaged a few times over the span of a weekend, I found that he lived 20 minutes away and he got my sense of humor..and that he knew big words. What more do you need? He asked me to dinner and I at the time, said I'd like to get to know eachother a little better, but was semi open to meet someone younger,for fun and who knows?

Then after a couple of more emails he dropped off the face of the earth (how unlike internet dating,I know). I thought i had offended him by something i asked. And I had an inclination about which question it was. Although his profile said he was a writer,he told me that he valet parks to pay the bills. When he told me this, I then asked,wait for it... What's your plan? After a long silence he typed back, My Plan? I felt bad in assuming that he even had a plan, or needed a plan. I honestly just thought, oh hes a writer and he is parking cars until he gets his big break. He didn't have a plan, which then I felt bad about calling attention to the fact that he doesn't have a plan...and then the dropping off of the earth happened. I felt a little bummed because I thought he seemed like a really cool guy..this young valet parker/writer with no plan.

So fast forward a couple of months and I get an email from him. He had computer problems (for two months,that's call for a new computer or a better excuse) and we wrote back and forth a couple of times, then within a couple of days, we happened to be free on the same night and decided to meet for Sushi. No pressure at all. I felt good because I didn't have any expectations and just wanted to have a laugh or two. I met him and i thought he was attractive in person. I felt comfortable, actually a bit too comfortable,the kind of comfortable that would gladly would step aside for a little bit of anxiety if it meant there was major attraction. I felt right away that I had the upper hand. But he was funny and cute, spilled the Miso soup but was charming about it. When the server asked if he needed anything else, he said maybe a few more minutes to spill the drinks.He made me laugh.

I didn't feel any sparks, but thought I would like to see him again, if only to be friends. He asked the dreaded "what do you do for fun?" and I let him know about my most favorite activities to do. I am one busy woman these days what with school,work,church, and volunteering....and it felt really good to be able to tell him the exciting things going on in my life. By the end of the night, I had the desire to perhaps see him again, but knew that we were not at the same place. He was only 30. Which is really relative, but for this 30 year old, he was pretty much where I was at 30, still not knowing what the heck i was doing.

He kissed me on the cheek,which was a bit awkward. He said he'd really like to see me again, what was I doing the next night? The next night? Hmm...busy. Because I was...When I drove away, all I wanted to do was call GSE. I wanted to be excited and thrilled and inspired and attracted...and I didn't feel that. He sent me a really nice text about an hour later with some very nice compliments. He didn't call the next day, he texted. I texted him back,actually asked him to go to the Getty, a very cool museum in L.A. He had to work on the Friday night I proposed.

Since then, I've received an email in which he informed me, he had decided to move to Utah...to move in with his parents...yeah, did I mention he's 30? I don't remember if i did.

10 things about Bridget

1. Full time psychology student
2. From California,lived in Salt Lake City for 12 years and moved back to Southern Cal 2 years ago
3. Have dated mostly guys who are not members of the LDS church
4. Went on a mission to England
5. Love 80's Alternative music,especially Depeche Mode
6. When I have a really bad day, I eat In n Out Burger..if you're not familiar with In n out, I am truly sorry
7. I love mindless t.v. (i.e The Hills,The Two Coreys)
8. I have a fear of Karaoke
9. One of the biggest trials of my life is to really feel my worth
10. My favorite hat to wear is Aunt Bridget.

Romantic Entrepreneur (Leah)

I decided last week to work on my skills as a "Romantic Entrepreneur." Or in other words, "Give a Guy a Chance." I went out with a guy a couple weeks ago. It was nice enough. He's nice enough. There were no real sparks but there was no revulsion. He tried to ask me out again but I was busy, so last week I was debating if I should call it dead or if I should invite him to something to try to keep it going. Having just gotten over (or am I still trying to get over?) Phil it's hard to think it's worth it giving another guy a chance. Basically, my thought process was, "The last one really hurt and never resulted in anything. This one may or may not result in anything but there really aren't any huge sparks, this is a good time to let it fizzle, I can avoid any real pain, and I don't have to worry about causing him pain later. Phils never work out so why even go there with this one it would just be a huge waste of time...." I know - it wasn't the most rational thought process, but I think many of you can relate to my hesitation. Then later that day I was counseled to be a "Romantic Entrepreneur" and be open to dating. The timing of the advice was just what I needed so that evening I called the guy and invited him to something. We went out on the fourth, it was fun. It wasn't the greatest date ever and there weren't suddenly sparks, but it was comfortable and I was reminded that he's a good man. I also remembered some sage advice I received about a month ago. My friend told me that I love freely and will probably have no problem loving a Phil or a permanent Phil (husband) so in my dating I shouldn't worry so much how much I like the guy or feel for the guy because I can easily and will easily develop the necessary feelings. What I need to watch for is how well the guy can love me. I haven't quite figured out how to apply this advice. But in the case of this new Phil I've decided it means I'll keep open to him - keep giving him a chance - and not worry about the lack of sparks I feel for now - the sparks will come - no doubt about it. I just have to wait to see if he feels any.

Hmm, that sounds like a lot of rambling on my part. Many apologies if you got nothing out of it.

10 Things about Leah

Okay, now for my 10 things. I've been "on vacation" for the last couple of weeks - which isn't like me at all - and I'm anxious to get back in my life. I think this will be a good start. And just so you know, in case it matters, there is absolutely no order to this list - just as it comes to me.
1. I tend to over share. I even had my students once give me the "TMI."
2. I love people - I can't get enough of good ones. I feel blessed all around that wherever my life has taken me my close friends and associates are good uplifting ones.
3. I love books - I think some of the characters become some of those good friends for me. I think I've finally come to the stage in my life, though, where I can tell a good book from a bad one - bad in the sense of not worth my time. There is too much of life for me to spend a lot of time just being entertained. Which takes me to my next point...
4. I love to learn. I love to think that I'm seeing things in new ways and gaining new perspectives. People and books are really good for fulfilling this need to learn. I know there's always a different way of looking at things and I hate to miss any of them.
5. I hate to think there is anything out there to fear. I don't ever want to be a victim, of any kind, so I believe my love of learning is an attempt to conquer any fears that may be hiding in my sub-conscious.
6. Like Marnie, I never really enjoy the question, "What do you like to do?" I usually wind up saying, "I like to read," but I think that sounds nerdy and boring and the truth is, I probably don't spend as much time doing that as I'd like. One Phil, from long ago, said I needed a hobby - I think I was smothering him - I told him my hobby was people and at that moment he was at the top of the people list. Yeah, smothering, I've been working on that one.
7, 8, 9. I'm stuck. I have nothing more to offer. I'm only good for 7 things. For all that previous talk I should say that I avoid annoying people, and situations that make me afraid. For instance, I hate haunted houses. They make me angry - that's what happens when I get scared or nervous - I get angry. Not pretty. I also find myself staying up way too late way too often reading way too lame of books - the fluffy meaningless types. And as for love of learning - well I have a few degrees but doubt I'll ever do a PhD because it just sounds like way too much work and reading and writing. So basically...
10. I'm a hypocrite. But who isn't?

10 Things About Marnie

Ok, if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m very wordy when I write – thus the WAY too long “10 things about me" list. I should be concise and state the facts, but I love to embellish and share my reasons. So, here goes!

1. I love to plan parties and activities. I hate it when there is nothing to do – if I’m single, I might as well have the magnificent social life that all married people think I have. And sometimes you have to make and plan that magnificent social life.
2. I’ve just discovered my domestic side and actually really like it! These last few months, I’ve been intrigued with the Cooking Channel and HGTV. And I’ve started experimenting - cooking, sewing, gardening (ok, the gardening is more like keeping my house plants alive). It’s helping me get over my worry that I won’t be domestic enough to be a good wife.
3. I live in Utah by myself because of my job – my whole family is in California. I find living in Utah both liberating and lonely – and I love/hate it. Luckily, I go home at least 4 times a year to regroup and spend time with them. When I have to leave them and come back to Utah, it’s another love/hate thing…
4. The one question I dread the most on dates/interactions with potentials is: “So what do you like to do in your free time?” That question makes me feel ill-equipped. I’m one of the busiest persons I know and yet I can’t break down how I spend my free time into one interest or hobby. I’m too busy and have too many interests to focus on one thing ALL the time. The good news is that I’ve turned over a new leaf and have decided I will tell the date/interest asking the question my huge list of things I love to do when I can.
5. I hate snow. But rain brings me joy.
6. Kris inspired this next one....I’ve never been kissed. Honest. Oh wait! There was that walrus at Sea World when I was 11. (I’m happy to say there was no tongue involved in that incident!) And yes, I wanted to kiss both The One and Rebound so badly it physically and emotionally hurt!! But it just didn’t happen. Oh, and watching the Drew Barrymore movie with the same title hit a little too close to home.
7. I’m a TERRIBLE speller. And I spell check every thing I write. I’ve been known to type out on the computer what I put in a thank you card just so I can spell it all correctly!
8. I have to sleep with a fan on – I’ve got tinnitus (ringing in my ears). Before I was diagnosed in my 20s, I thought silence sounded like a high pitched ringing.
9. And while I’m on the subject of sleeping, I love to sleep in on a Saturday morning and wake up naturally with no alarm clock going off. I love to think and ponder while waking up. And most of my epiphanies and answers to prayers come while lying in bed thinking and listening to the fan in the background.
10. I’m going to write a book one day about my “interesting life” as a single Mormon woman. It will include bad blind dates, and crazy coincidences, ironies, and stories from my relationships and experiences. It will be hilarious! I’ve got it outlined, but I’m having a hard time getting to a really good ending! :-)

expectation management (marcia)

Last Sunday my Bishop confirmed my theory. In front of the entire ward, he showed us a graph that statistically proved that Low Expectations is the key to happiness and success…which has been my mantra for a couple of decades now. Lest you think I am a pessimist, let me explain…

I find expectation management to be especially helpful in dating and movies. Let’s take movies for example. Example A: If I hear rave reviews of a movie, I go to the theater with pretty high expectations. I’m either disappointed because I had such high expectations or if I liked the movie, the experience wasn’t as sweet because I expected it. Example B: I went to see the latest Indiana Jones movie with very low expectations. While I wasn’t jumping out of my seat, I knew what to expect and I was sufficiently entertained for the $10 ticket. Example C: When I saw “I am Legend”, I knew nothing about the movie and I loved it – that’s the best scenario – when you have low or zero expectations and end up loving something.

In the dating realm, I don’t expect my dating life to be a chick flick with Meg Ryan magically meeting Tom Hanks at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentines Day. Instead I work on enjoying life, working hard and playing whenever I can. It works for me – I’m very happy and I enjoy my life.

Not that I haven’t seen my fair share of expectation management failures though. There was this one guy awhile ago who I thought was perfect. He was smart, successful, funny and gorgeous. We had very similar interests – which has been hard for me to find. Even though we only had one date, I was convinced everything was going to fall into place and we would live happily ever after. After that first date, he emailed a few times and would throw out teasers like “we should ….” or “I’ll call you….” But that’s all they were…teasers. My expectations (you might say they were borderline fantasies) were way out of control and the disappointment was bitter.

Translating my expectation management theory into my current dating experience, I had pretty low expectations when I started dating Clue – this is in no way a reflection on him or who he is. As Clue pointed out (see “the first step” posting), I wasn’t emotionally available because of a recent break-up. Even though I wasn’t interested in the relationship, for some reason I kept going on “one more date.” If I’m being really blunt and honest, I didn't feel a connection with Clue and there were a couple of times I dreaded an upcoming date and came very close to cancelling. Again, NO reflection on Clue.

So after a couple of months of moving at a snails pace on a rocky road, things are now pretty amazing. I’ve learned more about communication and relationship development in the past month than I have my entire life. I’ve learned about growth and being open. I’ve learned about caring for someone who has a totally different background than me and embracing and learning from the differences. There is so much that I’ve grown to admire and respect about Clue – stuff that originally unimpressed me. I guess the moral of my story is simply to give love a chance – even when you think there’s no way something will work. It took two months of Clue-sized patience and endurance to break through my walls, but now that we’re past that stage, it’s a beautiful thing.

The Fruits of My Labors (Kris)

All the sleep I've missed maintaining three dating sites is starting to pay off. I had my first date last week. I wasn't expecting much but was pleasantly surprised. I think I mentioned that I thought he was a little old for me, and I wasn't too impressed with his profile. I was thinking I could go and just check off the first internet date. I had it in my head that I'd be going out on quite a few dates before I was interested in someone. He surprised me. He was cute and very interesting. Honestly, it freaked me out a little. I realize you don't know a lot after a two hour dinner, but enough that I'd like to know more about him. He's out of town for two weeks, but he said he'd call when he got back. I also got a very nice "thank you" email from him the next day before he left town. So, we'll see where that goes in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, I think I have dates 2 and 3 coming up this week. One is the first guy who called me. I was impressed with the conversation but then didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. Then last week he called a lot (mostly leaving messages). We finally talked a couple of nights ago and are, supposedly, going to lunch this week. The second conversation wasn't as impressive as the first. I like quirky men- I'd even say I'm attracted to a certain amount of quirkiness- but there is quirky/endearing and quirky/annoying. I'm not sure which he's going to fit into. Lunch will be interesting.

I'm looking forward to date three. He's actually the only guy I've initiated conversation with online. I just sent a flirt (I know, I hate when guys do that, but it worked). We've emailed a number of times and he asked for my number to get together this weekend. He's a triathlete, pretty cute from his photos, and has a nice humor that comes across in his emails. Well see...

So that is three dates, one from each of the sites I'm on. I think that is interesting. With all my judging of which site is best, they've all yielded a date in about the same amount of time.

On LDS Promise- I finally heard back from that guy I've dated before. He just thanked me for the compliments, returned them very kindly and continued with a regular email. I don't get it. His emails make me think he's interested in continuing communication but he doesn't seem too keen on going out. Whatever. I do think he is a nice, quality person. I don't think I have to date everyone that I'm drawn to. Sometimes the attraction means different things. So I guess I'll be OK being email buddies for a while.

Funnily enough (is funnily a word) I got sent a match of another guy I have a little history with. I met him online last fall. He called once, then nothing happened. I wasn't sure what to do with the match so I just let it sit. He initiated the normal process- sending prewritten questions by the dating site. I'm not sure if he remembers me or not. I would think that if he did, he would have just sent a message. Do I put a little personal note in one of my responses? Or just go through the process and see what happens? I've just left it hanging out there without a response for a few days. I'm not too motivated to proceed, but I probably will get to it eventually.

So there it is. I'm actually quite pleased with how it's gone so far which I guess is just one good date. But I'll take it!! :)

10 Things about Kris

1. I love to travel and experience new things, people and places.
2. My new hobbies are tennis and cycling; I do one, or sometimes both, almost every day.
3. I didn't get my first kiss until I was 18.
4. I love living near my family and try my best to maintain "favorite aunt" status.
5. I love the extremes of living in Utah- love the really cold and really hot, and that within minutes you can be in the mountains then out in the surreal landscape of the salt flats, not to mention all that great red rock just a few hours away.
6. I enjoy living alone (but would gladly give it up for the right person) :)
7. For the past 20 years, I've studied/contemplated what happiness is. Being happy is a priority in my life and I think I usually achieve that.
8. I feel like a loser if I don't have plans Friday and Saturday nights- although I tend to really enjoy it when I happen to get a night to myself.
9. I avoid high-drama relationships. (can't we all just get along??)
10. I can tap dance.

ten things about me (marcia)

An interesting thing about this blog is we (the contributing writers) don't really know each other. I think Kris knows or has met everyone now, but I don't know Leah, Bridget or Marnie. We just have the commonality of writing...as well as that single Mormon thing. Anyway, Kris and I thought it might be fun to write a bit about ourselves so here are ten things about me. Kris, Marnie, Bridget and Leah, over to you...

1. I have an amazing family and some of the best friends in the world.
2. My favorite vacations are camping/waterskiing, houseboating/waterskiing or just waterskiing. I love to camp, backpack and sleep outdoors.
3. I’ve been going to Peru every six months to visit and work with the kids at the Sunflower Orphanage. www.sxhu.org
4. I recycle, conserve, and try to buy organic.
5. I always eat my French fries before my burger.
6. I love to wear skirts in the summer, but I’m a fleece-wearing tom-boy at heart.
7. I am freakishly good at doing jigsaw puzzles.
8. I wish I could bring an end to poverty, hunger and pain.
9. I would love to be married with children.
10. I love being single.